Disclaimer: The characters of JAG don't belong to me. I just borrowed them from Bellisarius Productions, Paramount and CBS for this story. No infringement intended.

A Long Journey Home I
Heartbeats

1145 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, DC

Mac was woken by the alarm clock on the nightstand. Rolling over, she smacked the damn clock to turn it off and wearily read the numbers 0645 on it.

"Hey sleepyhead, good morning." Harm greeted her with a kiss on the lips. "You slept right through our 6am wakeup call."

"I don't have to work this morning, I can sleep in late." she mumbled and burried her face in the pillow.

"Bud is going to pick me up at 0700. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Was this today?"

Mac suddenly was wide awake and for the first time saw that Harm was already fully dressed in his uniform and ready to go.

"I thought you said you wanted to go to Bethesda with me today for the ultrasound."

"I'd love to, especially since last time you went I was stuck in court. The Admiral informed us though yesterday that the dates have been moved ahead by a day. I told you last night, remember?"

"Yeah, some time between painting the bedroom and putting up the new wallpaper in the nursery, I vaguely remember. I wish you didn't have to go. I mean, we have to be out of here by the end of the month, and we haven't even started packing yet."

"Told you you shouldn't have unpacked most of your stuff when you moved in here. It's just gonna go into boxes again."

"Very funny." Mac playfully slapped his upper arm. "I have two interviews this afternoon, so I'll call you when I get home to tell you about the sonogram results."

"Remember that whatever Dr. Brandis says I do not want to know if it's a boy or a girl. I rather want to be surprised."

"So do I."

There was a knock at the door. For once in a lifetime, Bud Roberts was on time. Harm placed a quick kiss on Mac's forehead before he got up to answer the door. There in front of him stood Bud, a briefcase in one hand, his cover in the other.

"Good morning, sir. I hope I am not too early."

"No, no. C'mon in, Bud." Harm held the door open and let Bud into the apartment. "I have some coffee ready for the trip. Just let me get it."

"I hope it has a lot of caffeine in it. Chrissy is having stomach craps, she kept us up the whole night. I think she might be coming down with the flu."

"Sorry, it's decaf." he said, before he leaned over and whispered, "We'll pick up the real stuff on our way."

"I heard that!" Mac called from the stairs to the bedroom.

She tied the sash of her robe around her baby belly and joined them in the kitchen.

"Good morning, ma'am. How's the little one doing?"

"Fine as far as I can tell. He or she just does not have any concept of what a good night's rest means."

"Believe me, that's not going to change within the next two years." Bud chuckled. "Harriet won't be in the office today as she was supposed to be. She asked me to tell you to call her about driving to Ikea to look for furniture."

"Did I hear furniture?" Harm piped in.

"AJ needs a new bed. He's almost 3 now, and he's made himself clear that his crib is no longer acceptable in any way. We bought Chrissy's crib at Ikea. Compared to what you pay for baby furniture here in DC, they have reasonable prices."

"I thought I could have a look at cribs and compare prices. Don't worry, I won't buy anything without you."

"You better." Harm warned her teasingly. "We should hit the road now, Bud. It's a little over 3 hours to Carlisle Barracks. We are to meet with the PJA Office at 1100. You take care of junior and yourself,
Marine."

"I will. Call you tonight. Love you."

"Love you too."

They shared a quick, but tender kiss before Harm grabbed his briefcase and duffle bag and was out the door with Bud.

"What do you think, junior," Mac said aloud and placed her hands on her belly, "we have an appointment at Bethesda at 9. Breakfast or another hour of sleep?"

Mac felt a gentle kick in her abdomen before the small human being growing inside her decided to stop torturing her with any more kicks and grant her another hour of sleep.

"Good girl." she giggled, patting the place she had felt the baby's kick earlier. "Or boy for that matter. It would be a lot easier if I knew whether you are a girl or a boy, but then I want to be surprised. Gee,
I am already talking to myself."

Mac shortly shook her head before she turned and headed back to bed.

1415 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Bethesda Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, MD

 
"Sorry for the delay, Colonel." Dr. Brandis excused herself as she guided Mac into her office. "I had an emergency C-Section and 3 deliveries since 5am. I think something has to be in the air today."

"This little fellow here is very active today as well." Mac chuckled and placed her hand on her belly. "I never thought someone that small could have so much energy."

"Oh, they do." Dr. Brandis took place in her chair behind her desk after Mac had taken her seat in front of the desk. "I thought your fiancé wanted to join us today?"

"He got called away on short notice." Mac replied.

Long ago, she had given up to correct people that Harm and her were not married, neither engaged. She had come to the conclusion that in the English vocabulary a word was missing to describe exactly what their relationship was like, and she had grown really tired of people asking why they were not married yet and had no plans to do so, especially since a baby was on the way.

"All right. What about you? Feeling uncomfortable, any irregularities, any pain?"

"I am feeling as good as I can with carrying around those few extra pounds of baby. I try to rest, and get as much sleep as possible. Of course Harm is making sure I eat properly as well. He's a little too overprotective if you ask me. He won't even allow me a chocolate treat now and then. And, good Lord, I am craving chocolate these days."

"First time dads often are. Tell him there is nothing wrong with a little chocolate here and there. As long as you don't gain too much weight and are regularly taking your vitamins, it is okay." Dr. Brandis opened the chart lying in front of her. "Now, what I want to talk to you about. I hope you remember that I told you to cut short on travelling once your pregnancy progresses. Flying is a no go from now on unless I give you permission it is okay. Going by car is up to you. As long as you feel fine, and make plenty of stops to stretch, you are free to go wherever you want."

"Believe me, he or she is making sure I get plenty of stops to stretch. A trip to the restroom every hour is a minimum."

"Well, then why don't we have a look at this little fellow?"

5 minutes later, Mac was lying on the gurney in Dr. Brandis office and was having her ultrasound done. The steady sound of the baby's heartbeat sounded through the room, and brought a smile on Mac's face.

"Let's see," Dr. Brandis began and turned the screen for Mac to see, "this little pulsing here is the heart. And this," she moved the small device on Mac's belly while the baby stretched out its legs, "uh oh!"

Dr. Brandis quickly moved the device around, but she was a little too late. Mac was staring at her, unable to say anything.

"There's something wrong, isn't it?" she asked hesitatingly before Dr. Brandis removed the small gadget from her belly.

1434 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Bethesda Naval Medical Center
Bethesda, MD

"I am sorry, Colonel." Dr. Brandis said as she shook hands with Mac for goodbye. "I didn't mean to scare you earlier."

"It's all right. I know the baby is fine, and that's all that is important at this moment. Besides, it was not your fault."

"Well, that little fellow definitely wanted you to know whether you have to except a boy or a girl. I have never seen a baby facing the ultrasound like this one for 100% accuracy."

"Though I didn't want to know, I am glad I do now. The question now is how I am going to tell Harm. He was so insistend not to know until the birth."

"He'll be thrilled when he finds out."

"Hopefully."

Dr. Brandis followed Mac outside her office.

"If you don't feel very well, if you experience any pain or bleeding, I don't want you to hesitate and call me. Otherwise, we'll see each other again in 3 weeks. This time hopefully with your fiancé."

"I'll drag his six over here if I have to." Mac chuckled.

"Make an appointment at the desk, and remember to call if you don't feel well. Even at night. You have my number."

"Thank you. I will remember that."

1558 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
PJA Offices
Carlisle Barracks
Carlisle, PA

"Commander, Lieutenant, welcome to Carlisle Barracks." Major Robert McGinnes welcomed Harm and Bus as their entered the PJA office. "The guard at the gate informed me that you were heading this way. I hope you had a pleasant trip?"

"We got caught up behind an accident on 81." Harm replied, nervously glancing at his watch.

When he had tried to call Mac an hour ago via his cell phone, he couldn't reach her at home, neither at the office, nor via her cell. He had left her at least 3 messages on their answering machine, 2 with Tiner, and 4 on her cell mailbox. Though he wouldn't tell when he was asked, but he was worried about her. The joys of impending fatherhood!

"I will be available for your assistance during your stay here in Carlisle, as will everyone at PJA." Major McGinnes' voice brought him back to reality. "If there is anything you need, just contact me and I will take care of it. Your first class will begin at 1300. I will brief you with anything you need to know. Why don't I show you to your quarters first so you can unpack and get familiar with the grounds?"

"That would be nice."

"It's just two blocks down the road. I will show you the way."

They all climbed into the car, and Major McGinnes showed Harm and Bud to their temporary quarters. An old brick building, one of the very few reminders of the Civil War, appeared alongside the road, and McGinnes told them to stop. Harm pulled into an empty parking spot, and turned off the engine.

"This is temporary lodging at Carlisle." McGinnes started after he had climbed out of the car. "It's pretty quiet around here, unless it is Friday night. Then it's bowling night down in the basement. Your quarters are on the 3rd floor."

Harm and Bud gathered their stuff from the trunk, and then followed McGinnes inside and to the 3rd floor.

"I was hoping the Admiral would send Col. Mackenzie. It's been a long time since I last saw her." McGinnes uttered.

"You know Mac?" Harm asked surprised as they stopped in front of apartment 3C.

McGinnes opened the door for them, and then showed them inside.

"Mac and I went to law school together. How is she doing these days?"

"She's prosecuting a murder trial. Court Martial is set for Monday next week, that's why she couldn't come like she was supposed to. Lt. Roberts here will be a great replacement for her."

"Only heard good things about you so far, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, Major."

"You're welcome. Now, this will be your home for the next 10 days. It is not very spacey, but it is comfortable though, and unfortunately, all we can offer you at the moment. The bedroom and bathroom are right through this door. Two double beds, and no girls allowed." McGinnes snickered.

"Major, I am a married man with children, I wouldn't do..." Bud stopped right in the middle of his sentence, when he found both Harm and McGinnes starring at him amused. Somehow, he seemed to have missed the joke in this.

"Sorry." he excused himself embarrassed, his face now colored in a lighter shade of red.

"If you'll please excuse me now, I need to get back to my office. If you want to grab something for lunch, there's a little diner about 2 miles down the road. I can only recommend it. As I mentioned before, your class starts at 0130. Meet me at my office at 0100, and I will brief you and introduce you to your class. Meanwhile, enjoy your stay at Carlisle Barracks."

Major McGinnes excused himself, and then left the tiny little apartment that was going to be Harm's and Bud's home for the next few days.

"Bud, relax." Harm said and closed the front door. "This is not the grand jury we're going to meet after lunch. Just a couple of kids we should teach the finer touches of military law."

"I know, sir, it is just that I have never done something like that before. Teaching I mean."

"It's not any different than trying a case."

Harm sat down on the couch, and then reached for the phone. He dialed a familiar number, but his expression and silence let Bud know that he had reached the answering machine again.

"Sir, I know you are worried about the Colonel, but aren't you a little overreacting? I mean, she's a grown woman, she knows how to take care of herself."

"I know that, Bud, no need to remind me. It's just that she had a doctor's appointment this morning and I want to know if everything is okay with her and the baby."

"I am sure she would have called if there were any problems. In this case, I think no news are good news. If there was something she wanted you to know, she would have called or at least would have returned your calls, don't you think - sir?"

"I think you are right, Bud. I am a total nutcase, ain't I?"

"No, sir, only a soon-to-be-father."

1555 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Roberts' Residence
Arlington, VA

Mac rang the bell at the front door, and immediately heard AJ screaming "I go, I go!" She laughed to herself, when the door was slowly pulled open, and little AJ appeared in the doorway.

"MAC!" he called joyfully, and wrapped his arms around her legs.

"Slow there, munchkin." she laughed and scooped him up into her arms. "Where's your mama?"

"Chwissy is sick. Oh, she made a biiiiiiiiig mess. On hew bed. And on my bed. And on hew pjs. And on mama!"

"Upstairs I think then."

Mac was halfway up the stairs with AJ giggling in her arms and patting her cheeks when she spotted Harriet exiting the bathroom carrying Christina. The little girl was crying heartbreakingly, and Harriet was covered in baby puke all over.

"Told you, she made big mess." AJ repeated, and pointed at his little sister.

"Oh, hi Mac." Harriet said when she spotted her. "I didn't hear you ring."

"I did!" AJ called joyfully, raising his arms into the air.

"And how often did we tell you not to open the door alone, AJ Roberts? It could have been some stranger, young man."

AJ just rolled his eyes at his mother, ignoring her, and started to hum a tune.

"I am sorry, Mac, but I think Chrissy has the flew. She already threw up 3 times this morning. And this little guy here is unbearable. Whatever people say about 'the terrible twos', I think for AJ it will be 'terrible twos and threes'."

Mac just chuckled, "Let me take Chrissy and you go get cleaned up."

She sat AJ on the ground and then took the crying little girl from Harriet's arms.

"Somewhere in the kitchen, there's a bottle of tea I wanted to give to her. It has some baby tylenol in it. Maybe you can try giving her that? Otherwise, she won't take the tylenol."

"Okay. AJ, why don't you come down with me and help me?"

Mac extended her hand, and the boy took it immediately. He silently toddled at Mac's side until they reached the kitchen. Then he suddenly took off like a whirlwind, grabbing a baby bottle sitting on the table.

"Chwissy's bottle." he exclaimed and held it up for Mac.

"Thank you, munchkin."

Mac pulled a chair out and sat down at the table, placing Christina in her lap. The girl was still crying, so Mac bounced her a little on her knees before she offered her the bottle. Christina's tiny hands reached out for the tea immediately, and she began to drink eagerly, the tears still trickling down her face.

"Yeah, I bet you are a very thirsty little girl." Mac cooed at her. "And then that rumbly tummy is giving you so much pain."

Meanwhile, AJ was tugging at the sleeve of her uniform jacket, trying to get her attention. When she finally turned to him, he was holding his arms up for her to be picked up and placed on her lap like his sister.

"AJ, you know I can't take you both."

"Up me, up me!" he trembled impatiently.

"AJ, please!"

"UP ME!" he screamed.

"AJ Roberts, you heard what Mac said." his mother called as she entered the kitchen. "She can't take you both. Remember, Mac is going to have a baby of her own soon. Besides, your sister is sick and I don't want you to get the flu from her. That's the last thing I need right now with your father being gone for over a week."

AJ gave her a puppy dog face when she picked him up. Harriet sighed, and then sat down with her son in her lap next to Mac.

"Right now, with one kid sick, and the other trying to test out his bounderies, Bud has to leave for Pennsylvania."

"He didn't do that on purpose, you know that. It's his job. If you want to blame someone, it's me. I was supposed to go with Harm, not Bud."

"But he volunteered when you couldn't. He shouldn't have done that."

Mac gave her a look, letting her know she was a little overreacting there.

"Okay, I am sorry. I got 2 hours of sleep last night, and AJ is his bouncing self since 6am this morning. That boy has energy, I don't know where he takes it from."

"I'm nise boy." AJ giggled. "No twouble, I'm nise boy. Pwomised daddy."

"Yeah, you nice boy. Why don't you go in the living room and play while the adults have a little talk in here?"

The moment AJ's little feet touched ground, he hurried off into the living room, leaving Harriet and Mac alone. A moment later, sounds of toy trucks pushed around the floor sounded into the kitchen, telling them AJ would be occupied with them for the next few minutes.

"So, why did you stop by?"

"I had an ultrasound done this morning." Mac replied shortly, before she handed Christina back to her mother.

"I hope there's nothing wrong with the baby?"

"No, the baby is fine as far as my doctor could tell. But she let it slip what sex it is. Or better, the baby was facing the ultrasound from its best side. Harm was so insistent not to know that I don't know how I can tell him that I know."

"Are you absolutely sure about the sex?"

"Trust me, it was more than obvious on the screen whether this baby is a boy or a girl."

"And? What is it? Boy or girl? You haven't told me yet."

"Harm would be mad as hell at me if he found out I told you before I told him."

"I won't tell a soul, I swear."

"I don't even know yet if I want to tell Harm at all. But if he knows, you'll be the next one, I promise."

"You think I can't keep a secret, don't you?"

"Oh, you've proven quite well that you can keep a secret, Harriet. I just don't know what I want to do right now. Tell Harm or ignore that I know. What would you do in my situation?"

"I think I would tell him." Harriet answered, and shifted Christina on the other side. "Mac, he wants this baby so much, he doesn't care if it is a boy or a girl. He'll love this baby, no matter what sex, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I know he will. But that's not the problem here."

"Just some minutes ago you told me I was overreacting concerning Bud's leaving. Don't you think you're doing the same thing here?"

Mac sighed, "This whole baby thing is just so overwhelming. One moment I think this is the best thing that could happen to me, the next I am not so sure anymore."

"I think you will probably curse me if I tell you once again that this is just normal."

"Probably." Mac chuckled. "Thanks, Harriet. For listening and being such a good friend."

1557 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Carlisle Barracks
Carlisle, PA

Harm and Bud were on their way to their first class that day. 65 students from all branches, Army, Navy, Marine Corps, even FBI and CIA, were waiting for them for their law seminar to start. Until Friday the following week, their days would be filled with 3 hours of law classes each morning, and 2 in the afternoon.

"Lieutenant, are you nervous?" Harm asked with a grin on his face, noticing that Bud was clutching his briefacse tightly to his side.

"No, sir - yes." the younger officer replied.

"No need, Bud. You will do fine. Here we go."

Harm reached for the doorknob and pulled the door open, stepping into the class room. 65 pairs of eyes fixed on them immediately. They both cringed slightly before they walked over to the desk in front and placed their briefcases on it.

"Good morning ladies and gentleman." Harm started. "I am Cmdr. Harmon Rabb. This here is..."

"Bud!" a voice from one of the last rows suddenly called.

Harm raised his eyebrows, trying to locate who exactly had said that. Suddenly, a young Petty Officer raised from his chair, bringing himself to attention.

"Petty Officer Third Class Mike Roberts, sirs."

Harm just smiled and shook his head. Mikey Roberts still hadn't learned how to handle protocol. Bud cringed at his little brother's display.

"Sorry, sirs."

"Apology accepted, Petty Officer. Please sit down."

Mikey sat down, and Bud exhaled the breath he had been holding ever since his little brother had stepped up. Harm went on further.

"Lt. Roberts and I are with the Judge Advocate General Corps of the Unites States Navy. We are here to teach you about military law. Basically, we want to show you what consequences your actions will have for you. PO Roberts just gave you the best example of what you better don't do in front of higher ranking officers. He could easily be charged with disrespect to an officer."

Some people in the room started to laugh, and even Bud had to stiffle his laughter.

"I know most of you have gone through the drill, so I don't think I need to go into any details of what conduct unbecoming of an officer and disrespect to a higher ranking officer means. We are here not only to tell you what charges could be brought up by the UCMJ if you go against the rules, we are also here to teach you what the UCMJ is all about, what defines the UCMJ, and what will be most important to you, if any orders you might be given in the future are within the confines of the UCMJ."

Harm looked over at Bud, giving him a wink with his eyes to tell him to continue from there.

"As JAG lawyers, our duty is not only to prosecute and defend those who are charged for their actions according the UCMJ, we also conduct JAGman investigations to find those to blame or to find a proof of innocence for those being blamed. We help anyone in the military with legal advice, and we will teach you what you need to know so our paths will hopefully never cross again."

Suddenly, a young man in the second row raised his hand. Unlike most others, he was not dressed in any kind of military uniform, but in a dark blue suit. Harm nodded in his direction to tell him to speak up.

"Peter Donahue, sir. I don't really understand why it is from such importance for anyone being CIA or FBI in this room to know about military law."

"Though there is Military Police and the NCIS, we still work together with both CIA and FBI on certain cases. For you as federal agents, it is important to know what you are allowed to do during a military operation you are part of and what not. One wrong move, and everything could be blown up in bits and pieces. I think Lt. Roberts here can give you a better answer about this. He was a..." Harm shortly searched for the right words as he looked over at a helpless Bud, "legal military advisor during an operation in Arizona that involved military, FBI and CIA. Lieutenant?"

"The UCMJ prohibits any surveillance of military personnel and their communications during a federal operation that also involves military personnel." Bud went on further. "In this case the Commander mentioned, the FBI aquired valuable information through surveilling and recording JAG personnel's cell phone calls. This information could not be entered as evidence in the following court martial, and the FBI had to face the consequences for breaking the UCMJ."

"Question answered, Mr. Donahue?"

"Yes, thank you, sirs."

"Now, I think we will get right to the interesting stuff here."

1655 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA


Mac exited the elevator, and pushed the doors to the bullpen open. Juggling her briefcase in one hand, a couple of file folders under her arm that didn't fit into the briefcase anymore, and a cup of hot chocolate wasn't an easy task. One of the folders began to shift under her arm, and the whole stack suddenly came crashing down on the ground right in front of her office door. Mac groaned as she placed her briefcase and the cup on her desk, and then bent to pick up the files.

"Colonel, let me help." Gunny suddenly offered and knelt down next to her to help her sort out the files and put them back in the right folder. "I will finish this for you if I may?"

"Thank you, Gunny." Mac smiled and stood back up.

"Ma'am, I have an urgent phone call on line 4 for Cmdr. Rabb." Tiner suddenly called through the bullpen. "I think you should answer it."

"Okay, Tiner. Put it through to my office."

The phone started to ring the moment Mac had taken off her coat. She quickly hung it up, and plopped down in her chair. Then she answered the phone.

"Yes, Colonel Mackenzie speaking."

"This is Nurse Margaret from Washington Hospital & Rehab Center in Washington, Pennsylvania. I was looking for a Commander Harmon Rabb JR?" a friendly, voice asked on the other end of the line.

"He's currently not available, I am sorry. Would you like me to take a message for him?"

"Uhm, ma'am, isn't there any way I can get in contact with him? This is very urgent, and very important."

"Where did you say you are calling from, Washington, Pennsylvania?" Suddenly it dawned on Mac. "Oh my god, is something wrong with his grandmother?"

"I am afraid so, ma'am. It is very important that the Commander is informed about this. His grandmother is in serious condition, we had to move her to the ICU about an hour ago. She is constantly asking for her grandson."

"Nurse, I will take care of that, thank you. I know he'll be there as soon as he can."

"Thank you, Colonel."

Confused, Mac put down the receiver. Harm's grandmother sick? The last and only time he had met her was on Valentine's Day when Harm and her had driven up for a long weekend away from DC. She'd appeared to be fine, and so happy for them when she learned about her first great-grandchild. Quickly, Mac picked up the phone again, and pushed speed dial button 2.

1710 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA

"Tiner, is the Admiral in?" Mac asked impatiently, tapping her fingers on Tiner's desk.

"No, Colonel, I am sorry. He is out for lunch with his wife. He should be back in about 15 minutes though."

"I can't wait that long, Tiner. This is important. Where can I reach him?"

"He has his beeper with him. I could page him, letting him know to call you immediately."

"Thanks. I'll be in my office trying to call the Commander."

Mac turned around and walked out of the Yeomann's small office, when Tiner called after her.

"Oh, ma'am! I almost forgot. The Commander called asking for you twice this morning. He said to call him back the minute you get in."

"I am just trying to do that, Tiner!"

Tiner cringed shortly at Mac's tone, then reached for the phone to page the Admiral. 3 tries and 5 minutes later he still hand't answered, and Mac was up on her heels, pacing nervously the floor in front of Tiner's desk after she'd left about 6 messages on Harm's cell phone mailbox, and two on Bud's to call her back on her cell the second they got those messages.

Tiner tried again for a fourth time, this time, the beeping sound of the beeper coming from very near.

"Tiner, why are you beeping me 4 times the last 5 minutes?" AJ Chegwidden exclaimed, and Mac and Tiner immediately snapped to attention. "As you were."

"Sir, that would be my fault." Mac uttered firmly. "I ordered him to."

"Why so, Colonel?"

"Can I have a talk with you in your office please?"

The Admiral sighed, but then walked straight into his office, Mac following him. He hung up his coat and cover, and then sat down behind his desk.

"Please take a seat, Colonel."

Mac stepped up in front of the desk, and sat down in one of the chairs.

"Everything okay with you and the baby, Mac?"

"Ah, yes. We are both doing fine, sir."

"Why do I feel like there is a 'but' coming right now?"

"It's not me, sir. It's Harm's grandmother. I got a call from a hospital in Washington, Pennsylvania, telling me she had been admitted in critical condition. I couldn't reach Harm, his cell phone is turned off. I fear there might be something terribly wrong with his grandmother. She's been constantly asking for him. I would like to drive to Pennsylvania and be with her at least until Harm can join us there."

"Colonel, the last time I checked I had assigned you the Maxwell murder trial."

"That is true, sir. Cmdr. Imes and myself have been working together very closely on this one, and I think she will be able to handle everything until I get back."

AJ sucked in a deep breath and scratched the top of his head.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Permission granted, Colonel."

"Sir, you know that Harm's grandmother means a lot to him. He would never forgive me if I was just staying back here at JAG doing my work and not being with her. Nobody should be alone in their pain. I'd hate to do it, but this family means such a great deal to me that I'd even go UA if I had to."

"I hope you are right and Cmdr. Imes will be able to handle the Maxwell case until you get back. I don't want to see your hard work going down the drain."

Mac smiled, "No, sir. And thank you."

"If you happen to reach the Commander, tell him Lt. Roberts will be on his own on this assignemnt from now on. I can't spare anyone else of my personnel."

"Will do."

"You're dimissed, Colonel."

"Aye aye, sir."

Mac rose from her chair and turned to leave.

"Oh, and Mac?" the Admiral stopped her. "I know Mrs. Rabb will do fine."

Mac just nodded solemly, before she opened the door and left the office.

2055 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA

Mac had tried to call Harm several times on her way to Washington, but every time she reached his mailbox. She had asked Gunny to leave a message with the PJA Offices for Harm to call her the moment he got out of classes, but yet, he hadn't called.

Mac pulled the SUV into an empty parking spot in front of Washington Hospital & Rehab Center and turned off the engine. She took a deep breath, before she got out of the car and entered the building. The chart in the lobby told her that the ICU was on the third floor, so she took the elevator up.

Her stomach was tied in knots, and the constant baby kicks she felt in her lower abdomen didn't make her feel any better.

"Give mommy a break for just a minute, will ya?" she murmured and placed her hand on her belly before she stopped at the counter where one of the nurses was observing several different monitors.

"How can I help you, ma'am?" the nurse asked and looked up at Mac.

"My name is Sarah Mackenzie. I received a call from a Nurse Margaret about Mrs. Sarah Rabb earlier today. She said I could find her here in the ICU."

"Oh yes, Mrs. Rabb is one of our patients. I am sorry though, I can only give out information to family members."

"I am her grandson's fiancée." Mac uttered firmly, hoping that information would be enough for the nurse.

The woman quickly studied Mac from head to toes, before she placed a warm smile on her face.

"All right. I think Mrs. Rabb will be glad to have a visitor. I would like you to talk to Dr. Wagner though before you go see her. Why don't you take a seat in one of the chairs over there in the meantime? Dr. Wagner should be here soon."

The nurse picked up the phone to page Dr. Wagner, and Mac retreated to one of the chairs piled up along the hallway wall. A middle aged man pushed through the swing doors to the ICU a moment later, immediately walking over to Mac.

"Ms. Mackenzie?" he asked, and extended his hand in her direction. "I am Dr. Wagner, Mrs. Rabb's doctor."

Mac quickly got up, and they shook hands before Dr. Wagner indicated for her to sit back down. He took place in a chair next to her.

"You are her grandson's fiancée?"

Mac nodded, "I couldn't reach him so far. He's on assigment in Carlisle. Doctor, what happened to her?"

"Now, Mrs. Rabb was brought in early today. As far as I know, her neighbor found her passed out on the front porch. We can't exactly say when, but Mrs. Rabb had a stroke, and a mild heart attack. When she was brought in, she was desillusional, dehydrated, her blood pressure was up to 190, she was suffering from sudden spasms and we had to revive her twice. Her left side is paralyzed due to the stroke she suffered, and she has a hard time talking. But what is of most concern to us is the heart attack. She needs a triple bypass, but in her current condition, surgery would be too risky."

"Are you trying to tell me that she is going to die?" Mac asked with a shaky voice, trying to fight back the tears welling in her eyes.

"You have to prepare yourself for the worst, ma'am. We can't say anything concrete as of right now. The stroke has affected her whole system, she is very weak. We fear her heart is not strong enough to keep her alive until she is fit enough for bypass surgery. We can only sit and wait."

"Can I see her?"

Dr. Wagner nodded, "Sure. I will take you to her room."

He showed Mac to a private room in the ICU where Sarah Rabb's sleeping body was lying in bed. Beeping machines were standing next to the bed, accompanied by several IVs. Tubes were sticking in and out of her, and though Mac was trying hard not to cry at the sight in front of her, she couldn't fight back the tears anymore.

2134 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Carlisle Barracks
Carlisle, PA

"Hey Mikey, how come you never told me you were here in Carlisle?" Bud asked his little brother when Harm, Mikey and he left the class room.

"I didn't know you'd be here, big bro." Mikey replied.

"What exactly is a Fire Controlman doing in law classes anyway?" Bud inquired. "You were supposed to be on the Wake Island, not here."

"I wanted to surprise you. Serving on the ship is fun, but not exactly what I want to do. Not that the Navy was my choice anyway, so I decided to make the best out of it. I will go to officer school, and then the Navy will pay for my college."

"Hey, great choice, Mikey." Harm said, patting the younger man's shoulder. "What classes do you want to take?"

"Computer information classes, sir."

Bud stopped dead in his tracks when he heard his brother say that.

"Computer information classes?" he repeated.

"Yeah." Mikey replied. "I read about the Navy looking for comp wizs. I thought that could be something for me on a longterm basis. I applied for one of the spots, and got it. The Navy pulled me off the Wake Island a week ago and sent me here to attend a couple of classes until I can go to OCS. Your law seminar was one of it. If I had known you'd be here, I would have called you."

"My little brother going to OCS, I can't believe that."

"Soon you have to."

The threesome walked further down the corridor towards the front exit.

"How are Harriet and the kids doing?" Mikey asked as he held the door open for the two officers.

"Chrissy has the flu, but other than that, they are all fine."

"Did AJ get the fire truck I picked up for him? When I saw that I remembered him begging for one the last time I visited."

"Oh yeah. We practically had to force him not to take it to bed with him." Bud chuckled.

"How is the Colonel doing, Commander?"

"She's doing great."

"I am glad to hear that. Do you know yet if it's going to be a boy or a girl?"

Harm shook his head, "Not yet. We rather want to be surprised."

Mikey quickly glanced at his watch, and then stopped in his tracks.

"I really hate to cut this off, but I have another class at 1700. I need to get going. Meet you for dinner tonight, Bud?"

"Sure. We're in visitor's quarters, why don't you stop by later after classes?"

"Got that." Mikey came to attention and snapped off a sharp salute, "Sirs."

Harm and Bud returned the salute. Then Mikey turned around, and walked off down the small paths towards the building next door.

"Can you see him going to OCS, sir?" Bud asked, and shook his head about his little brother.

"If he wants to do this, Bud." Harm replied distractedly, already looking for his cell phone in his briefcase.

He pulled it out, flipped it open and turned it on. Immediately, he saw that he had several missed calls, his mailbox rang him, and he listened. The expression on his face slowly turned from surprise to confusion then to fear after he'd listened to Mac's messages. She had not told him anything about what had happened, just that she needed to talk to him ASAP. Her voice told him though that someting was terribly wrong.

"Everything all right, sir?" Bud asked.

"Mac called me a couple of times while we were in there." Harm answered, and quickly pushed in her cell phone number, but all he got was her mailbox.

"She not answering?"

"Her phone is turned off."

His next phone call was at his apartment, but again he only got the answering machine. Then he called her office number. He breathed a sigh of relief when after 5 rings, he finally got an answer.

"Gunnery Sergeant Galindez, how may I help you?" Gunny identified himself on the other end.

"Gunny, this is Cmdr. Rabb. Where's the Colonel?"

"She got a call earlier and left the office, sir."

"Why?" Harm asked confused. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know, sir. All I know is that it apparently was an emergency. I will put you through to Tiner, he will know."

Harm waited impatiently as he listened to the sounds of a mechanic tune and a nice female voice telling him to 'please hold the line'. After about 30 seconds, Tiner finally picked up.

"Tiner, where is Col. Mackenzie?"

"Sir, she left for Washington, Pennsylvania."

"What on earth is she doing up there? She knows..."

Suddenly, Harm's voice trailed off. His grandma! Something had to be wrong with her, what other business should Mac have there?

"Thanks, Tiner." he croaked into the phone, and then disconnected the call.

He blinked a couple of times before he looked over at Bud, the shock on his face evident. Bud looked at him silently, not able to force himself to ask what was just forming on his mind.

"My grandmother." Harm finally said. "Something's wrong with her. Mac drove up to see her. Something's terribly wrong, Bud. I need to drive to Beallsville."

"But, sir, we're in the middle of a..."

"I don't care, Bud! We're talking about my grandmother here."

Harm turned around, and hurried down the street towards their car. Bud followed him closely.

"Sir, if the Admiral learns about this, you will be in great trouble."

"She's my grandmother!"

They reached the car when Harm's cell phone began to ring. He immediately flipped it open, and answered.

"Mac?" he almost screamed into the phone, hoping it was her.

"No, Admiral Chegwidden, Commander."

"Sir, I am sorry, sir. I was hoping it was the Colonel."

"I figured that much. Tiner said you called for her. You haven't reached her yet?"

"No, sir. She left me a couple of messages on my cell, telling me to call back. It's my grandmother, sir, am I right?"

"I am afraid so, son. I don't know what happened, neither I think did Mac when she left. All we know is that she was admitted to Washington Hospital."

"Sir, I would like..."

"No need to say it." AJ interrupted him. "Without further notice, consider yourself on personal leave for the time being. Lt. Roberts should be able to handle your little teaching job on his own. PJA Offices agreed to this, so why are you still listening to me and are not on your way to see your grandmother?"

"Thank you, sir!"

Harm clicked off the phone, and handed his briefcase of to Bud. He looked at him questioningly.

"You are on your own from now on. The Admiral gave permission to remove myself from this to be with my grandmother."

Bud just nodded shocked, unable to say anything. Alone, he was going to be teaching alone! He quickly shook his head when he realized that Harm was fidgeting with his keys to unlock the car door, and eventually dropped them onto the floor. They both reached for them, but Bud got a hold of them first.

"Sir, Harm, mind if I come along?" he asked, feeling Harm would need a friend right now.

"Bud, you have work here."

"I could easily drive you to Washington, and then come back here. And if I am honest, sir, during those hours we spend on the road, I could really need a quick lesson in what I am going to tell those kids in there. I am not prepared for this, I was only supposed to assist you."

Harm took a deep breath. Maybe it was not so bad at all having Bud come along instead of driving alone. He would keep him distracted, even if it was only for a couple of hours.

"Hop in, Lieutenant." Harm finally said before he climbed into the car as well.

2345 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA


Mac felt like she was sitting in that uncomfortable chair for an eternity when one of the nurses came in to check on Mrs. Rabb. The elderly lady had never once opened an eye, and Mac wasn't even sure if she knew that she was there at all.

"You will have to leave for a couple of minutes, Colonel." the nurse said. "Dr. Ione will come in shortly to check on her. He's the cardiologist. Why don't you get some fresh air and get yourself something to eat? I will let you know when you can come back in."

Mac nodded at her, before she placed Mrs. Rabb's hand she was holding carefully on the bed next to her lifeless body. Then she got up and left the room. Outside on the corridor in front of the ICU, her glance wandered over the clock on the wall, and checking with her internal clock, she realized that it had been well over 3 hours since she had arrived in Washington, and yet hadn't even made an attempt to call Harm and let him know about his grandmother.

At the end of the corridor, she saw a payphone in the waiting area. Looking for a couple of quarters in her purse, she made her way over to the phone. She picked up the receiver, and put the first 3 quarters in, then dialed Harm's cell phone number.

"Harm?"

"My god, Mac, where are you?" Harm asked on the other end, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Washington, Pennsylvania." she replied. "Harm, your grandma..."

"She's in hospital, I know."

"How?"

"I got your messages, but couldn't reach you. I called Tiner, and he told me you left for Pennsylvania. Chegwidden called me a couple of minutes later. How's she doing, Mac?"

"Not so good. She's been sleeping ever since I came in, but occasionally she will ask for you. It doesn't look good though."

Mac heard Harm swallow hard, before he asked, "Heart attack?"

"And a stroke. Her right side is paralyzed, and she needs bypass surgery. She needs you here. How fast can you be... Harm? Harm?"

Suddenly, the line was disconnected. Mac silently cursed the damn phone, and reached for a few more quarters to call Harm again. She was in the middle of pushing in the number, when she saw the elevator doors swing open, and Harm exit.

Mac quickly placed the receiver back in the cradle, and then hurried to envelope Harm in a big hug. He felt her knees go weak so he quickly guided her over to one of the chairs to sit down.

"How?" she stammered, not being able to say more.

"Bud dropped me off. I was about to walk in when you called. Got disconnected when I hopped onto the elevator though before I could tell you I was here. Where is she?"

"Second room down the hallway in the ICU. Her cardiologist is with her at the moment. They told me to leave while they were examining her."

"Do you know what happened?"

"Only what her doctor told me. Her neighbor found her on the front porch passed out. They had to revive her twice until she got here. It's touch and go now. Her body is too weak for surgery, but they don't know how long she will make it without."

Harm ran his fingers through his hair and stared off at the ceiling. Why was this happening right now? Mac placed her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close to her for comfort. He looked so helpless right this moment. Placing a hand on his cheek, she gently pulled his face towards hers.

"She's going to live, you just have to believe in it." she whispered, resting her forehead against his.

"And what if she doesn't?"

"Harmon Rabb JR, I don't want you to even think about this, okay? She will live. She has her first great-grandchild to look forward to."

As if the baby had heard what Mac had been saying, it started to kick her to make its presence knows. Mac reached for Harm's hand and placed it on her belly right where the baby was kicking her.

"There are miracles in life, Harm. You just have to believe in them."

"I do." he replied in just a little more than a whisper before he placed a tender kiss on her lips.

"Col. Mackenzie?" a voice brought them back into reality.

They broke apart, looking over at the nurse who had so kindly asked Mac a couple of minutes before to leave the ICU.

"You can go back inside now if you want. Dr. Ione is just checking in with Dr. Wagner, they want to talk to you about Mrs. Rabb's condition."

"Is it really that bad?" Harm asked, and rose from his chair. When he noticed the nurse's strange looks, he quickly introduced himself. "Harmon Rabb, I am her grandson."

"Well, Mr. Rabb, I am not qualified enough to tell you anything about her condition. I am sure Dr. Wagner and Dr. Ione will answer every question you might have. You will find them in the last room on the right."

"Thank you, nurse."

They rose from their chairs and walked back into the ICU to talk to Dr. Wagner and Dr. Ione. The two men were waiting for them in the small office for the doctor on duty at the end of the corridor.

"Mr. Rabb I assume." Dr. Wagner said and extended his hand in Harm's direction.

They shook hands, before he gestured for them to sit down in two chairs placed in front of the desk.

"This is Dr. Ione. He's your grandmother's cardiologist."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Rabb, Ms. Mackenzie." He nodded into their direction. "Now, I will come right to the point. It doesn't look very good at the moment. The next 12 hours are the most important. If she pulls through until then, her chances are a little better."

"But you can't say that she will be out of the woods by then, can you?"

"No, sir, I am sorry, I can't. I can only tell you from my experience, but every patient is different. I can't and won't give you any guarantees on your grandmother's recovery. Fact is, I am surprised that she is still holding on. Her heart is in very bad shape, and without surgery, she won't have a chance. I assume Dr. Wagner told you though that surgery is not an option right now, she probably wouldn't survive it."

"She won't survive without surgery, but surgery she won't survive either." Harm exclaimed. "Is there anything you can do at all?"

Mac reached for his hand and squeezed it gently to tell him to calm down.

"Mr. Rabb, your grandmother is 86 years old, she's lived a long and good life." Dr. Wagner said.

"You don't understand. She can't die! Not right now! She has her first great-grandchild to look forward to."

"Maybe that is the reason she is still alive. She wants your blessing that it is okay to go. Certainly, we could try to keep her alive with the machines, do surgery, but that still doesn't give you any guarantees that she will fully recover. She might be in need of the machines for the rest of her life. What kind of life would that be?"

"I can't do this, I am sorry."

Harm sprung up from the chair and walked out of the room.

0004 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA

Mac found Harm outside the ICU in the waiting room, staring outside the window. Silently, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her head against his back. He placed his hands on top of hers, gently running his thumb across the back of her hand.

"I knew that one day, she wouldn't be there anymore, but I didn't think it would be so soon. There are so many things I want to tell her, but I can't anymore."

"You can, Harm. Go to her room and talk to her. She will listen, she will understand, with her heart."

"I don't know if I can go in there now."

"We go together. Come."

Mac picked up his hand, and together, they walked back into the ICU and to Sarah Rabb's room. Harm stopped in the doorway when he saw his grandmother lying in the bed, the machines surrounding her, beeping and blinking. Hesitatingly, he made a step forward, but immediately turned back.

Mac tightened her grip on his hand, tugging at his arm to tell him to come in. Harm looked at her, then wrapped his arm around her waist and stepped into the room, stopping next to his grandmother's bed.

Not knowing what else to do, he picked up her hand, and her fingers immediately wrapped around his hand.

"Harm." she murmured, her voice sounding so far away.

"I am here, grandma. I am here. And so is Mac."

Her grip tightened on his hand, so Harm sat down on the empty spot on the bed next to her. With his other hand, he was holding on to Mac for comfort and support.

It felt like an eternity to Harm that he was sitting next to his grandmother and Mac standing behind him, one arm wrapped around him, her other hand locked with his, and her chin resting on the top of his head. The nurse broke them both out of their revery.

"Mr. Rabb, I am sorry, but visiting hours are over. I have to ask you to leave." she uttered politely while checking one of the IVs.

"I thought I could stay over night. Isn't that possible at all?" Harm asked while his gaze never left his grandmother's face.

"I am sorry, I can't allow you to stay. Your grandmother needs rest, and frankly, so do you. Dr. Wagner made me see to it that both you and your fiancee get the rest you need. If you leave your number, I will call you the moment her condition changes."

"And there really isn't any way I can stay?" Harm asked again. "I know I couldn't sleep anyway knowing that she is here, and without me. She's been asking for me, nurse, she wants me here with her."

The nurse just shook her head, "I am sorry, but I am not the one to decide. I promise you she is in good care. And don't you think she would want you to get a good night's sleep as well?"

"Harm, she is right." Mac spoke up.

"No, Mac, I am not going to leave her. She sat with me all the time when I had my tonsils removed when I was 8. She sat with me after the crash on Seahawk, how can I possibly leave her now?"

Turning to Mac, he tried to smile at her as he said, "You go to my grandma's place, get something for dinner and then sleep, okay? Do it for our little one, junior needs you to rest."

"And junior needs you to rest as well. Please, Harm?" she begged. "It's been a long and hectic day for both of us. Besides, we can't stay in here."

Harm sighed deeply while his gaze wandered over his grandmother's face. He knew he would never win this battle, not with Mac, not with the nurse on duty.

"Okay, we'll leave. But the waiting room is as far as I will go."

"For the first, TGI Friday's will be as far as you will go. I am starving to say the least." Feeling Harm's hesitatency, Mac added, "Trust me, we'll be back in no time."

0338 ZULU
Tuesday, March 20th
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA


Harm was shifting restlessly in the uncomfortable chair, while carefully holding on to Mac's head that was resting in his lap. Sprawled out over two chairs, she had fallen asleep about half an hour earlier, and the last thing he wanted was to wake her.

His hand was resting on her baby mound, and though the mother was asleep, the baby still seemed to be wike awake, moving and kicking. His hands moved in circles on Mac's belly, and eventually, the baby calmed down.

Sighing, he glanced at the clock at the wall, the constant 'tick tock' of the second hand being the only noise in the waiting room. Minutes, hours had passed since they had retreated to the little room at the end of the corridor, and as stubborn as Mac could be, she had insisted to stay as well.

And for God's sake, this was the last place he wanted her to be, sleeping on a chair in a hospital, not in her current condition anyway, not while being almost 7 months pregnant. Mac turned in her sleep, groaning slightly when she hit her knee at the back of the chair.

"Mac, we're going home." he said and pulled Mac into a sitting position.

"Hmmmm?" she murmured, half awake, her eyes trying to focuse on him.

"I said we're going home. You can't spend the whole night sleeping on those chairs. You need a bed."

"I'll be fine, Harm." she objected sleepily when Harm pulled her to her feet. "You wanted to stay here with your grandma."

"I know I did say that, but she would kick my six from here to the Antarctica knowing I let my pregnant girlfriend sleep on those lousy hospital chairs."

"Yeah, that she would." Mac chuckled, then yawned.

"Okay, Marine, and home we go."

"You know we don't have to if you don't want to. Besides, when did you every listen to anything your grandma said?"

"Never, and that is the problem right now."

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he led her over to the elevator. He looked back at the door to the ICU one last time before the elevator doors opened, and the empty hospital corridor vanished behind them.

0814 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Sarah Rabb's House
Beallsville, PA


Harm had Mac tucked into the huge bed in his old room. She had fallen asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. For quite a while, he turned and tossed restlessly in bed next to her, but sleep never came. His mind was with his grandmother, and whenever he tried to think of something else, he eventually would make a connection to his grandmother in an odd way.

He had retreated to the living room almost 2 hours ago already as he didn't want to wake Mac. Now he sat in the dark, a pillow clutched to his chest, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and staring intently at the phone as if he wanted to make it ring.

Upstairs in the bedroom, Mac turned around, seeking Harm's comfort, but her hand only reached out into emptiness. Slowly, she cast her eyes open, and adjusting to the dim light, wasn't surprised to find the bed next to her empty.

"Harm?" she called out, but didn't get a response.

The wooden floor cracked under her feet when she climbed out of bed to look for Harm. She rubbed her upper arms and shivered slightly in the cold air. Barefoot, she walked out of the room and into the hallway, the cracking of the wood panels only increasing.

She knew Harm well enough to know what he probably as sitting downstairs in his own misery, trying not to wake her and dump any of his problems on her. For a moment, she stood in the doorway to the living room and watched him rock back and forth on the couch.

When the floor cracked under her steps, Harm's head shot up. He quickly focused on her in the dark, then opened his arms to allow her to sit under the blanket with him.

"What are you doing up?" he asked and nuzzled her hair. "You should be in bed sleeping."

"You where not there when I woke up. I hate sleeping alone, you know that."

"Hmmm hmmm." he murmured and pulled her as close to him as he could.

Finally, his arms were wrapped around her baby belly, and his hands lovingly caressed the mound.

"You know, I've been thinking while I was sitting here alone in the dark." Harm started. "About us, the baby, my grandma... As far as I can remember she has always been there for me. And suddenly, just when I - we need her most, we have to fear that she won't be there anymore - for us, for junior. Remember how she beamed when we told her that she was going to be a greatgrandmother? I never saw her that happy before in my entire life."

"I know. She is one special lady, and no matter what happens, she will never be forgotten."

"You know, she called last week, asking me if we already knew whether she was going to have a greatgrandson or a greatgranddaughter. I told her we wouldn't want to know, but she was so insistent that we buy blue for the nursery - she kept telling me that Rabb men always had a son first. She said she didn't need that technical stuff to tell me."

"Well, blue doesn't sound that bad if you ask me." Mac grinned and turned to face him, dabbing his nose with her finger. "And pink, mmmmm, maybe for the next one."

Harm raised his eyebrows suspiciously, "Are you trying to tell me something here?"

"I know you didn't want to know, but - we are expecting a little baby boy. This is probably not the best time to tell you, but..."

"A... a boy?" Harm stammered. "We're going to have a son?"

Mac just nodded silently, glowing all over her face when she saw Harm speechless, but yet happy - and all his thoughts about his grandmother forgotten at least for a few seconds.

"I - wow - I don't know what to say. A baby boy, it's a baby boy, Sarah!"

"I know," Mac chuckled, "I saw it on the ultrasound. Besides, a girl could never torture her mother as much as this little guy here does."

Suddenly, there was something dawning on Harm's mind, "Hey, but no Harmon Rabb III, you hear me? I had enough teasing because of that name when I was a kid."

"Do you realize that we never really discussed names yet? Other than that list on the fridge."

"Yeah, I know. I've thought about it though a couple of times. If I wanted my child to be named after a hero like Bud and Harriet did with AJ and Christina. But then names like Hyman Rickover or Chester Nemitz came to mind, brrr."

"Hyman Rickover Rabb, sounds funny, doesn't it?" Mac laughed.

"It sounds aweful. My grandma would say..." Harm trailed off, and again he stared off into the dark.

"What would she say, Harm?" Mac asked and gently forced him to look at her.

"That a boy needs a solid name that wouldn't give anyone any reason to tease him about."

"And then she gave your father a name like Harmon?"

"Family name." Harm replied. "My greatgrandfather was called Harmon, my grandma's father that is. He died the day my father was born. The name was okay when my father was a kid, odd names were an 'in thing' I guess. The teasing began when I started school."

"I love your name, Harmon Rabb JR." Mac said and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "And I love you."

"And I love you." Gently brushing a strand of her hair out of her face, he let out a low sigh before he continued, "Now back to bed with you. You need rest."

"So do you. Please come back to bed with me."

"I couldn't sleep anyway. The last thing I want to do is keep you awake with my turning and tossing."

"Then I'll stay here with you."

"Mac, c'mon."

"No, I am not going to argue with you about this. You either come back to bed with me or I will stay here with you. I am not going to let you be alone tonight."

"Can't change your mind on that one, hum?"

Mac shook her head no, "Bed or couch?"

"You drive a very hard bargain, you know that?"

"Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why you love me. So?"

"To bed with you, Marine."

Harm placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before he lifted her off his lap and got up, taking her back to bed.

1107 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Sarah Rabb's House
Beallsville, PA

Harm was laying awake in bed, staring up at the wooden ceiling and counting the many different nuances he could see in the wood. He had slept for an hour or two after Mac and him had gotten back to bed, but now he just couldn't anymore. His thoughts were still drifting around his grandmother, and though it was still dusk outside and visiting hours weren't for another few hours, he knew he couldn't stay back in Beallsville any longer. He needed to get back to Washington, to be with his grandmother.

In his arms, Mac began to shift and slowly open her eyes as if she had sensed in her sleep that Harm was already awake.

"Hey." he smiled down at her and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face.

"Hey." she smiled back at him. "Why are you already awake? Didn't you get any sleep at all last night?"

"An hour or two. Then I couldn't sleep anymore. I had a lot of time to do some thinking though."

"Yeah? What did you think about?"

"Me, my family, you, us, the baby. About what my grandma said about Rabb men... She's always been right you know."

"Oh, I can sense some dangerous thoughts there. Wanna tell me about it?"

"I've been thinking about death a lot. My greatgrandfather died from pneumonia when my grandfather was just a baby. My grandfather was shot down in World War II when my dad was just 4 years old; and my dad went MIA when I was 5. Do you see some sort of a pattern here?"

"Harm. Thinking like that will not do you any good. Not now anyways."

"But I do have to think about that, Sarah. I want to be there to see our son grow up, take him flying in Sarah, teach him how to play Basketball. I want to be there for him when he gets his heart broken for the first time. No Rabb man ever had the chance to do so."

"Then you will be the first one to change that. And now stop thinking about that, okay?"

"I will try."

Mac just smiled at him before she placed a gentle kiss on his lips. They let it linger for a while until they heard a knock at the front door.

"Are we expecting company?" Mac asked as Harm already climbed out of the bed and reached for a shirt to put it on.

"Not that I know of. Maybe grandma was expecting someone."

"At this time?"

Harm just shrugged his shoulders as he left the room and went downstairs to open the door. The knocking became more insistent and impatient. Finally, he reached the door and opened it. To his surprise he found Gladys, his grandmother's neighbour, standing in front of the door.

"The paperboy told me he saw a car parked in front of the house, so I had to come over and see if it was you." Gladys blurted out. "Harm, I am so sorry. I found her out here yesterday morning. I wanted to bring her some letters the postman had accidentally dropped of at my house. I was so shocked, I didn't even think about calling you. I am so sorry, I didn't know what to do."

"Gladys, stop." Harm cut her off and raised his hand. "Why don't you come in first and then tell me what exactly happened."

Gladys nodded shortly and stepped into the house. For the first time, she noticed that Harm was only dressed in a pair of boxers and a shirt.

"Oh Jesus, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, we were already awake. I will go upstairs and quickly get dressed. Why don't you go ahead to the kitchen and I will be right back to make us some breakfast."

"Take your time, dear."

Harm nodded before he vanished upstairs. Mac was still lying sprawled across the bed when he entered the bedroom.

"Who was at the door?" she mumbled into the pillow and didn't even bother to look up at Harm.

"Gladys." Harm replied shortly as he searched for a pair of blue jeans in the bag sitting next to the door.

"Gladys? What was she doing here at this time of the day?" Mac finally looked up. "And why are you getting dressed? Harm, it's still early. Come back to bed."

"Gladys is waiting dowstairs in the kitchen. I told her I'd make us some breakfast so we could talk. You don't have to join us if you want to get a little more sleep."

"No, no." Mac objected as she sat up in bed. "My back is hurting like hell, and I am dead tired, but I am up. Just give me a couple of minutes for a quick trip to the bathroom and to get dressed. And then I need a cup of coffee."

"I don't think my grandma is keeping decaf in her kitchen."

"I wasn't talking about decaf, I was talking about the real stuff."

1632 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA


Visting hours had started a 0830 that morning, and exactly at that time, Harm and Mac had shown up at the hospital and since hadn't left. Glady's visit that morning had done some good in one way - the time until they were allowed in hospital had passed very quickly. For the last 3 hours they sat at Sarah Rabb's bedside, Harm always holding on to his grandmother's hand. The elderly woman was a bit restless from now and then, but when Harm started to talk to her, she seemed to calm down immediately.

The machine she was hooked up to monitoring her heartbeat showed her irregular and unsteady heartbeat. It wasn't once or twice, but three times that since they had arrived the monitor would alarm them about the hertbeat having stopped, but even before the nurses and doctors came in to check on her, it had started to beat on its on. It was as if she had heard Harm pleading that she wasn't to leave him, that she had to stay with him.

But they both new that the battle had to be lost sooner or later. During the night, Sarah Rabb had to be revived twice and the doctor's couldn't tell from their medical point of view why she was still alive.

At 1138 the monitor started its beeping attack again, and like the times before, Harm was up from his chair and sat at his grandmother's bedside.

"Don't do this to me, you hear me?" he pleaded, his voice croaking. "You can't do this to me and Mac - and your greatgrandson. Hear me, grandma, you were right. We're going to have a son. Your greatgrandson who needs you."

Sarah Rabb's fingers curled tightly around his hand and her lips started to move. He bent over and heard her mumble a couple of words that sounded like 'John, Harm, a boy' before the monitor flatlined.

At 1159 Sarah Rabb was pronounced dead.

1704 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Washington Hospital & Rehab Center
Washington, PA


Harm sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room paralyzed. His expression was blank, his eyes fixed on nothing in particular. He hadn't said a word since his grandmother had been pronounced dead, he was just numb - whereas Mac hadn't been able to keep back the tears. She sat in the chair next to him, her face in her hands, and was crying. A loud sob and snif escaped her that finally broke Harm out of his revery and he turned over to look at her.

Quickly, he got up and knelt down in front of her. Gently, he tilted her face up so she had to look at him. Her eyes were red and swolen and filled with tears that treathened to flow. At the sight of her crying, Harm finally realized that this was serious, that this wasn't a dream; it was real. He gathered her into his arms, holding her close to him when she started to cry even more. But Harm didn't.

Maybe there was still a little chance this was only a nightmare, that this wasn't as real as it seemed to be. As long as he kept being tough, as long as he kept himself together, as long as he didn't start to cry - as long as he didn't face reality and retreated into a shell, it wouldn't hurt more than it already did. And it hurt badly - worse than any pain he ever had to endure, worse than any pain he could ever imagine.

He wouldn't allow this pain to become worse, to break him at the least. He was tough, and he wasn't gonna shed a pain or the pain would finally get a hold of him - and in the end would eat him up, he knew that. No, he couldn't let that happen.

It might look strange to some people that he wouldn't shed a tear over his grandmother's death, but they didn't know him. They didn't know how much she'd meant to hium, and they possibly couldn't understand that her deeath had cracked his heart - and once he would let the pain her death caused inside of him get to his heart, it would be broken and never to be whole again. And not even his love to Mac or his son could have been enough to heal... so he thought.

After a few minutes of weeping in his arms, he released Mac from his arms. With the words of 'I've got to call my mother' he turned around and left Mac standing in the middle of the waiting room as he headed for the elevator. He had put up his guard, and he was not going let it down - not for a long time.

"Harm!" Mac called after him, but he didn't react.

When she saw the elevator doors open, she quickly rushed over and got in together with him.

"Where are you going?"

"Calling my mother." he replied quickly as they waited for the elevator to descend and its doors to open.

"There was a public phone up there in the waiting room. You could have used that."

"I need to get out of here right now. Can't you understand that?" he spat at her, but immediately regreted his harsh tone. "I am sorry, Mac. It's just..."

"You don't need to say it." she interrupted him with a light smile on her face. "I understand."

They reached the ground floor and exited the elevator, making their way straight outside towards the small park that lay beside the hospital building. After a short walk, they found a remoted bench in the back of the park and sat down to make the call to California.

Harm's fingers trembled as he pulled the cell phone out of his pocket. For a while he just stared at it, then took a deep breath and started to dial his mother's number at the gallery. She answered after three rings.

"Hey mom, it's me."

- "Harm!" his mother exclaimed happily at the other end. "What a suprise. We haven't heard from Sarah and you since last month. Didn't you promise to call more often? And not only for birthdays and holidays." -

"Mom, something happened." His voice quivered as he said the words, and he had to force himself to keep it steady.

- "Oh my God. Is something wrong with Sarah? Or the baby? Harm, what is it?" -

"No, they are both absolutely fine. It's not them. It's..." Harm stopped midsentence when his voice broke. Silently, he handed his phone over to Mac to finish the call for him.

"Trish, hi, this is Sarah."

- "Sarah, what's wrong? What has happened? Where are you?" -

"We're in Washington, Pennsylvania. I got a call yesterday that... that your mother-in-law was admitted into hospital. She... she died about 20 minutes ago. She just fell asleep and didn't suffer." There was silence on the phone, and Mac thought she'd heard Trish starting to cry. "Trish?"

- "Yes, I am still here." she sniffed, then steadied her voice. "How did Harm take it?" -

Looking over at him sitting next to her, Mac was frightened at what she saw. He was staring off at the distance, his eyes glued at the horizon so far away. His hands were nervously playing with his car keys, and Mac was afraid that he would jump up the next second, race to the car and vanish into nowhere to be alone. He had never been good at expressing his pain, or even sharing with the ones he loved.

"Not very good, I am afraid. I haven't seen him like that before. He scares me."

- "I will call Frank and tell him. We'll catch the next flight out there and be there as soon as we can. We'll call when we get there."

"That's fine. Thanks, Trish. Bye."

Mac disconnected the phone, flipped it close - and then happened exactly what she had feared would happen. Harm sprung up from the bench and raced off in direction of the parking lot without even saying a word.

"Harm!" she cried after him as she followed him as fast as she could, but she was too slow.

She reached the parking lot and only saw him speed past her and out of the parking lot, vanishing around the corner.

"Damn you, Harmon Rabb!" Mac yelled after him as she smashed her fist against one of the trees to her right.

1834 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Somewhere on a Highway in PA

His fingers trightly gripping the steering wheel, Harm drove on and on without even knowing where he was going. He passed the blue street sign without even reading it, he didn't care. All he wanted to do was run, get away from Washington and Beallsville as far as he could. Maybe that would ease his pain, maybe that would tell him that everything was only a nightmare, that at one point he would wake up and everything would be all right. Then he would call his grandmother and she would tell him that she was fine and that he should quit worrying about her, that she would always be there for him - something she had been telling him ever since he could remember, and something that he never dared to doubt....

2043 ZULU
32 Years earlier
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA


"Harm, be a good boy for grandma and take these groceries inside." Sarah Rabb said as she unloaded her car and handed a dark brown grocery back over to her grandson.

"Q-M-A-R-T. That spells Q-Mart." the boy said as he grabbed the bag.

"Very good. And if you don't hurry up, the I-C-E C-R-E-A-M will melt."

"Ooooooh, ice cream. Chocolate, grandma, yes? Can I have one, can I have one, please?"

"Yes, chocolate for my big boy. And if you go inside before it melts, you can have a scoop after dinner."

Little Harm turned and ran into the house as fast as his little feet were taking him. Sarah Rabb smiled after him before she grabbed the last two bags and closed the truck. The first thing she saw when she entered the kitchen was her grandson who was kneeling on a chair with a spoon in his hand and fidgeted with one of the boxes of ice cream.

"Harmon Rabb JR, didn't I say after dinner?"

"I will skip my dinner, but thank you for asking." the boy replied bluntely and dug the spoon into the ice cream.

His grandma just laughed and placed the grocery bags she was carrying down before she moved to take the spoon out of the boy's hand.

"After dinner, okay?"

"Daddy would have let me. He always did."

Sarah Rabb sighed, "Well, he isn't here now, is he? And I am sure your mom wouldn't let you either."

Groaning, Harm put the lid on the box and pushed it away from him. The he settled on the chair and watched his grandmother put away the groceries. For a while, he just studied her apprehensively - and then blurted out with a question that had been slowly forming on his little mind.

"Grandma, when will daddy come back? He isn't dead, is he? Cause people are not coming back when they are dead and mommy always says that nobody knows if daddy is really dead, so he can come back?"

Sarah Rabb was taken aback, a little shocked to say the least. She placed the salad she was holding in her hands down on the counter and went to sit down with her grandson.

"Honey, we don't know what exactly happened to your daddy, so we can't say if he is dead or not. But if you keep praying and believing that he will come back, he will come back one day."

"Which one day?"

"I don't know."

"But wouldn't he come back if he was not dead?"

"Oh, he would come back to you, little Harm, if he could. But sometimes, daddies just can't come back home, even if they want to. But as soon as they can, they will be with their families."

"You mean that if they are POWs, they can't come back."

Sarah Rabb was struck but that word coming out of the child's mouth.

"Harmon, who told you about POWs?"

"I saw it on TV. In the news. They said, POWs would not come back to their families even if they want to. Grandma, what does POW mean?"

"You know that your daddy is MIA, missing in action. And you know that your daddy faught in a terrible, terrible war. Sometimes, when someone gets shot down during the war like your daddy, their enemies find them and put them into prison. These people are POWs, Prisoners Of War."

"But they didn't do anything wrong, so why are they put into prison? Flying like daddy did isn't wrong, is it? Cuz I want to fly as well, but I don't want to be a prisoner."

"Harm, you are still too small to understand all of this. If you get older, you will understand, trust me."

"I am not small, I am 6!"

Harm held up 6 little chubby fingers into the air.

"Even if you are as old as I am, honey, you won't understand everything. Some things you probably will never understand, even if you are old and have children of yourself."

"Then I will just come to you and ask you. Cause you know everything, grandma."

The elderly woman smiled down at the boy, "Thank you."

"You will be there for me every time I have a question, right? And you will have an answer for me cause you know almost everything, right?"

"I will always be there for you, always remember that. Whenever you need me, I will be there, and whenever you have a question, I will have an answer for you. Whenever you have a problem, I want you to tell me, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, grandma."

"I love you, too, Harm."

Present Time
Somewhere on a Highway in PA


When Harm snapped back to reality, he found himself driving slowly in the middle of the highway. People were angrily honking their horns behind him, so he pulled over to the right and back into the lane. Two cars passed him on the fast lane, the drivers making some very obscene gestures towards him, then they sped away.

In the corner of his eyes, he saw he was passing a blue exit sign, and without even looking what exit he was taking, he pulled off the highway and into some rural area in Southern Pennsylvania. He just needed to go on and on, wherever the road would take him. And he was sure that once he hit an obstacle, he would just bypass it and still go on and on. Somewhere out there, some remote place he was sure he would find the truth he needed, he wanted to hear. The truth he had always believed in - that forever and all time, his grandmother would be there for him.

2332 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Pittsburg Airport
Pittsburg, PA

Mac was nervously waiting for Frank and Trish Burnett at Gate 20. The last couple of hours, she'd tired to locate Harm, but without a car and his cell phone in her hands, she didn't have much luck. Finally, she'd decided to a cab to Pittsburg Airport which had cost her the last of her cash in her purse and wait for Harm's parents to arrive.

5 minutes ago, passengers from flight 512 from San Diego to Pittsburg had started to depart the plane, but yet, she hadn't spotted the Burnetts. Nervously, she checked her note again, making sure she was at the right gate when she heard someone call her name. Looking up, she saw Trish and Frank Burnett walking towards her.

Trish Burnett shortly smiled at her before she enveloped her in a hug.

"Hi Trish, hi Frank." she greeted them, a weak smile on her lips as well.

"Sarah, where is my son? Where's Harm?" Trish asked, looking past her and trying to spot him.

Mac just shrugged her shoulders, "He took off with the car not a minute after we called you. I have no idea where he is."

"You mean he's been missing for the last 6 hours?" Trish exclaimed, the worried tone in her voice taking overhand.

"Trish, he's a grown man. He can take of himself." Frank tried to appease her, placing his arms around her shoulders. "He just needs some time to get to terms with this. I am sure he will call soon to let us know he is all right. Don't you think so as well, Sarah?"

Shortly nodding at Frank, Mac then turned to leave for the bagagge claim. About an hour later, they had gotten themselves a rental car and where on their way to Beallsville. While Frank was driving, Trish was making him absolutely nervous with her constant talking about her little Harm and what he had to go through and that this wasn't the first time he had just vanished.

Frank breathed out of relief when he turned to pull into the driveway of the Rabb Residence - and had to smash the breaks as not to crash into the back of a silver SUV parked in the middle of the driveway. Mac knew the car well, but Frank and Trish could only gather from the DC license plate that this had to be Harm's.

Even before Frank could turn off the engine, Trish was out of the car and rushing towards the house - followed by Mac in close distance. But to both their surprise, the house was empty. Trish slumped down on the couch in the living room and started to cry. The day's events had been too much for her, and Mac guessed that if Harm was anything like his mother, this probably was the first time since she had called her that Trish had allowed herself to cry.

Frank was with her immediately trying to comfort her while everything Mac could think about was where the heck Harm was. He couldn't have gotten far with the car parked in the driveway, but she had to admit that she didn't know Beallsville well enough to know where he could have gone in the near distance to find his peace. The only place she could think about was the barn behind the house.

She couldn't think of one reason why he would go there, but going there to find out if he was there or not was better than nothing. The backdoor was open, as well was the door to the barn, but when she stepped inside, she found it empty as well. She was about to leave when she caught a shadow about six feet above her. Looking up, she saw Harm sitting on a crossbeam, his legs dangling down on either side of the beam.

"Harm? What are you doing up there? Get down." she called, but he didn't respond to her. It was more like he was trying to pretend that she was not there.

"Okay, if you're not coming down, I will come up."

She crossed the short distance towards the ladder at the back of the barn, and when she put her foot on the first rung, she finally got an answer from him.

"Don't. It's too dangerous."

"Well, you're leaving me no choice. Either you come down or I will come up."

"Mac, I just want to be alone. Can't you understand that?"

"I can, but there comes a point when being alone does you no good. I don't know how long you've been sitting up there, but you left me back at the hospital almost 8 hours ago. I think that's a pretty long time to be alone."

"What do I have to do so you will leave me alone?"

"Nothing, cause I won't leave. Especially knowing you're sitting up there on that crossbeam 10 feet above the ground. And if I am not back inside the house within 5 minutes, I bet your mother will come out here. Now think about what she will tell you. Most probably that you're behaving like a little boy. Come down, please. You can't sit up there forever."

Again, he gave her no response, praying that after a while, she would just leave him alone - though he exactly knew that if he didn't get down from that beam soon, she'd come climbing up to him, and that was the last he wanted. 10 feet above the ground on a small beam was a place for him to sit in misery, but not for Mac, not while being pregnant.

"My last word, Harm. I am coming up."

She was on the third rung when she heard a loud sigh and words of surrender coming from above. Cursing her to hell, he climbed down the ladder.

"Are you happy now?" he muttered when he finally was back on solid ground.

"Yeah, I am feeling better now. You could have broken your neck by falling down. What the hell were you doing up there anyway?"

"I wanted to be alone. Whenever I came in here as a kid, it was to be alone and think. Then I climbed up there and sat on the beam until my grandma came to get me. I don't even know why I came here. I just remember calling my mom and then being up there 10 feet above the ground. I don't even know how I got here in the first place."

"To refresh your memory, you took the car and left me back at the hospital. Alone."

"Oh." was all he said.

"You know how scared I was? I didn't know where you were and since I had your phone I had no way of contacting you. You just left me there without saying a word and I was going nuts. I had to think about what if something had happened to you and for God's sake, for a moment there I thought that maybe you would do something really stupid. And all I could do was wandering up and down the halls in the airport to wait for your parents to get in. The only thing that stopped me from getting crazy was your son who ever so gently reminded me with a kick that his daddy probably wasn't doing something stupid and would call the next few minutes."

"Sarah, I... I don't know what to say. This whole day, the last few days... it was hell and my only wish right now is that I will wake up any minute so this nightmare will be over and I will call my grandma and she will tell me that everything was going to be all right now. But hell, this isn't a dream I am caught into, it's a living nightmare and there's not even one thing I can do about it. My grandma is dead, I made a complete fool out of myself, I left you behind at the hospital... my whole world is crashing and I, Harmon Rabb JR can't do one damn thing about it!"

"Harm, your world is not breaking down. I would lie if I said I knew what you are feeling or why you are felling this way cause I never lost someone who was so close to me or meant so much to me as your grandmother meant to you."

"It hurts, Sarah. It hurts so bad and I want it to stop."

Without saying anything, Mac gathered him into her arms, holding him close to her. And for the first time after his grandmother's death, Harm started to cry.

0221 ZULU
Wednesday, March 21st
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA

His arms crossed behind his head, Harm lay in bed flat on his back and was starring up at the ceiling in the dark. After he had come back into the house together with Mac, he had gone straight up into the bedroom. He wasn't in the mood to face his mother because he knew that once he did that, he would break out in tears again and that was the last thing he wanted to do that night. Opening up to Mac in the barn, finally facing reality had been hard enough, and he couldn't bear the talk that certainly was going on downstairs in the living room right now - talk about when the funeral would be, what flowers had to be taken, and who they had to invite. Then the talk would come to who would manage her heritage - which certainly had to be him - and all those things that had to be done. No, those things he didn't want to face right now. Maybe tomorrow, but not tonight. Tonight he wasn't strong enough for that.

When he heard voices outside in the hallway and the door to his room slowly cracking open, he pretended to sleep. If it was his mother looking inside - he didn't want to talk to her right now. Because if he did, he would start to cry. If it was Mac, he would find out as soon as she crawled into bed next to him. She would know anyways that he was only pretending. She always knew.

"You skipped dinner and I am pretty sure you didn't have lunch either, so I brought you something up." Mac said as she placed a plate down on the night stand.

"Thanks, but I am not hungry."

Knowing that she better not push him, she just sighed and climbed into bed next to him. His arm was around her immediately, and she placed her head down on his shoulder.

"Should I still be worried about you or is everything all right?"

"You don't need to worry about me anymore. As for everything being all right, I guess that won't happen for quite some time." He paused a moment before he went on. "It's just not fair her dying right now. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, do with her."

"Don't think about everything you missed doing with her, think about all the things you got a chance to do with her. I am sure they outweigh everything you never got the chance to do. Be glad you had her in your life at all."

"I am glad for having had her in my life. I am just sad. Sad that she can't see her first greatgradnchild. It would have been just another couple of weeks and we could have fulfilled her biggest wish, giving her a greatgrandson."

Mac turned on her side and tenderly touched his cheek with her hand, forcing him to look at her.

"She knew, Harm. You told her, and when you did, she knew it was okay to go. She knew all the way, you told me that. I guess she just needed to hear it from you as well before she could go."

"I doubt you heard it, but she told my father and my grandfather that it is a boy before she..."

"No, I heard it." Mac quickly interrupted him when she felt he couldn't say the word - and didn't need to. "John, so that was your grandfather's name?"

"Jonathan Frederick Rabb III. My dad was so close to becoming Jonathan Frederick Rabb IV."

"Well, maybe you would have been Jonathan Frederick Rabb V. then."

"And Junior Jonathan Frederick Rabb VI." Harm chuckled lightly.

"Hmmm, maybe Jonathan Harmon Rabb I?"

Surprised, Harm asked, "What happened to all those names on our 'Possible names for Junior' list?"

"In case you don't remember, Mr. Rabb, you wrote down about a dozen girl names, but no boy names. The only boy name on the list was the one I added last Sunday - Jonah, which originated from the name Jonathan anyway. And Jonathan Rabb sounds a lot better than Jonah Rabb. But still, he could go by Jonah."

"Hey, hey, are you naming our son here?"

"No, I was suggesting something. I've been thinking about it all this morning. Remember what you said last night, about naming Junior after a war hero like Bud and Harriet did? I don't think that it's a bad idea. We'll name him after two soldiers who gave their lives for their country. Jonathan and Harmon Rabb. Junior liked the idea."

"Sounds like I am being overruled here."

"No, you are not. This is a big decision and I want us to decide together. We don't have to do it right away either, I am just telling you what I thought about to get you focused on some happier things in life."

"Sometimes I ask myself how you do that." he said as he pushed a strand of her hair out of her face to gaze right into her brown eyes.

"Do what?" Mac asked with a light smile on her face.

"You always know the right things to say to make me feel better."

"That goes right back at you, Harm. Sometimes it's so scary to see that you know me better than I know myself. It's hard to admit that."

"And at some times, you are so very damn hard to read. Then I feel like, what man does really understand a woman."

"That's one of the great mysteries of life - probably something you men never will figure out."

"Oh yeah? But I think I am very damn close to it."

"You're not even getting anywhere near it."

"You think?"

"No, I know. You - meaning you men - will never figure out us women. Not in a million years."

Somewhere along the line, they had both started to laugh and giggle. For a moment, they just looked at each other, then Harm grew quite. He bend his head and placed a gently kiss on Mac's lips.

"Thanks. Guess I needed a little something to laugh about right now."

"Welcome. Now get some sleep. You hardly got any last night. You could really use it."

"Yes, ma'am."

He snapped of a mock salute, before he drew her closer to him and closed his eyes, trying to get at least a little bit of sleep that night. And with Mac in his arms, he was sure he could.

0913 ZULU
Thursday, March 22nd
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA


It was completely dark downstairs when Trish Burnett walked down the stairs. She couldn't sleep anymore, and she was afraid that her constant tossing and turning would wake up Frank, so she'd decided to make herself a cup of tea. When she passed the living room on her way to the kitchen, the dim light of the lamp standing on the desk in the back of the room caught her attention. A small sigh escaped her lips when she saw he son sitting at the desk, his back turned towards her. She heard a sniff coming from him, so she decided to go over and join him.

"Harm, you want some tea as well?" she asked as she placed her hand on her son's shoulder.

Startled, Harm turned around and looked up into his mother's face. Her eyes mirrored his own, both their faces shaded with sorrow and pain.

"Yes, please. A cup of tea would be fine." Harm finally said after he had cleared his throat.

"Okay."

Brushing her hand over his dark hair, Trish studied her son closely. Never had she seen him like this, never in her whole life, and that scared her. She thought she knew her son, thought he was the strong man he always pretended to be, but just by looking at his eyes, she could tell that he was very close to breaking down. She had always known that Sarah Rabb had been very special to Harm, especially since she had been all he had left as grandparents ever since he had been baby, but she had always thought that whenever the time would come that Sarah Rabb would pass away, she would have taught him that she didn't want him to break down over her not being there anymore, that life would still go on, now with Mac and the baby at his side, and that wherever he went, she would always be with him.

"What are you reading there?" she asked as she sat down in the old armchair placed next to the desk.

"Old letters." Harm replied shortly.

"May I have a look as well?"

"It's just old stuff." he brushed her off. "Some I wrote when I was at the Naval Academy, some from when I was stationed on the Seahawk... just some stuff she kept."

"But this is not your handwriting." Trish uttered as she reached for the letter that was placed in front of Harm.

"Don't!" he exclaimed as he reached for her hand, but he was too late. His mother already had the letter in her hands. "Please don't." he begged, as the tears started to well in his eyes again.

Trish shortly looked at him, knowing that what she had in her hands probably was the last letter Sarah Rabb had left for Harm. She didn't know where he found it because Frank had gone through the whole desk earlier to look for a last will. Maybe Frank hadn't told her about the letter because it was addressed to Harm and not to her - but still, she needed to know what was written, so she started to read.

My dear Harm,

when you are reading this, it most probably means that my life on earth is over. Oh Harm, I know you so well, you are reading my words and thinking, why I had to be taken from you so early. It was my time to go, to go be with your grandfather and your father. They were awaiting me, I had to go. God made me an angel, my little Harm, an angel who will always watch over you, who will always be there for you, who will guide you through rough times, and who will celebrate with you the good times. I promised you forever, and forever it will be. In your heart, I know I will be kept forever and all time. Whenever you need me, all you have to do is look in your heart and you will find me.
There are also two things I want you to do, Harm. First, I will not tell you to not grieve about me because it is mother's nature to grieve. I will ask you though to not forget your family over your grieve. Let them be there for you, let them guide you, help you. Don't pretend to be strong when you are not. They are grieving with you, they are feeling the same pain. They will understand you, and they will help you - especially your Sarah. I know you, little Harm, and I know your pride will hurt her. There are more important things you both need to focuse on than grieving for me. You're going to have a baby, my first greatgrandchild. I
know your biggest wish was for me to see your son, hold him in my arms. I will see him, don't worry about that. And I will hold him, as an angel to watch over him. He will know me, never doubt that. I will live on for him in the stories you have to tell and in the pictures you have to show. Second, do not forget about the family farm, Harm. I know it is far away from where Sarah and you have built your lives, but not too far to just forget about this place. Remember this place has so many memories - both good and bad, but none to be forgotten. Keep this place your sanctuary, where you can retract yourself when you need it, where you chase the snowflakes with your children in winter, fly the kites in autumn and enjoy the beautiful landscape in summer and spring. Built new memories here and pass them on to your children and grandchildren like I passed them on to you.
As long as you will keep me in your hear, Harm, I will always be there for you when you need me.

When Trish Burnett finished reading the letters, tears were trickling down her cheeks. Looking up at Harm, she saw tears welling in his eyes as well.

"Mom," he sobbed, "why didn't she tell me before? She knew she had to go soon, but she didn't tell me. Why?"

He broke out in tears as his mother gathered him into her arms. Gently brushing over his hair, she held him close to him as she herself started to cry heartbreakingly over the woman they had both loved so much.