Disclaimer: The characters of JAG don't belong to me. I just borrowed them from Bellisarius Productions, Paramount and CBS for this story. The song Forever belongs to the Beach Boys. No infringement intended.

 
Forever

2340 ZULU
Georgetown, DC

Mac walked alongside Georgetown Canal. Again, she had been left behind, alone. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jeans and absentmindedly followed the path she was walking on. 

She felt betrayed by her best friend, Harm. Never had he told her he was thinking about returning to flying, or even his eye surgery. She knew it would be a long time until she would see him again, if at all. He had promised to keep in touch, but she knew that once his foot set down on the carrier he would be serving on, all would be forgotten, and she was just another friend left behind in DC.

Why hadn't she told him how she felt when she had the chance? Why hadn't she told him earlier today in his office, when they were saying goodbye - or whatever you may call what happened in that room. It did not feel like a simple goodbye to Mac, it felt like giving up part of her.

But she knew that nothing she could have said back then would have kept him back from leaving JAG. Flying was his biggest love, how could she possibly keep him from this? 

As much as she had fought her tears, she hadn't been able to hold them back. A Marine Major crying in the arms of a squid... what kind of impression did she leave when Harm left the bullpen? 

Alone - again. But why was it hurting so much this time a man walked out of her life? Why was she feeling like a part of her was missing already, a part she had grown to take for granted over the years? 

Mac was not yet ready to listen to her heart, or she would have found an answer right away. Over the years, Harm had found a way into her heart, had captured a place that she had reserved for one special person in her life - and suddenly, all was taken away by him leaving.

It hurt, badly. Her heart felt like it was put in chains, and they were tightening by the minute. There was only one way to set her free. She needed to talk to Harm one last time before he left for Pensacola.

0008 ZULU
Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Washington DC

Harm had finished packing hours ago already. He looked around in his vacant apartment. It felt so lifeless, almost like no one ever lived in there. His couch was covered with white linen so it would not dust in while he was away. He could see white linen practically everywhere he looked, the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom...

Why was it suddenly so hard to leave everything behind? A week ago, a day ago, it was all so clear: he was leaving for Pensacola to fly again. This was what he had always wanted and dreamed of, but why was it feeling so wrong? Why was he feeling like he was making the biggest mistake he could ever make?

He saw Mac's crying face in front of him. Tears shedding not only over a friend leaving. He knew the moment she had told him she couldn't think of the words to tell that he had been wrong - wrong not to tell her earlier about his eye surgery, wrong about even leaving her.

She was his partner, his best friend, and even more. He once had told her he would be there for her every time she needed him, but how could he if he was thousands of miles away? 

Harm looked up when he heard a knock at the door. He was not expecting company, and it sure was not someone saying goodbye. He had said his goodbyes earlier today. 

He made a beeline for the door, and was surprised to see Mac standing in the doorway. But he did not look in the comforting, smiling face he usually used to see. Her eyes looked like the saddest pair he had ever seen - and a certain spark was missing.

"Harm, I had to come to see you one last time."

Harm nodded as he let her in. 

"I was hoping you would come by. I... It felt so wrong to me how I left you in the office earlier today."

"Why didn't you tell me about your decision? I thought we were friends, and friends talk about such things."

"I was scared... scared that if I told you earlier I would not be able
to go at all."

"Why, Harm?"

Mac reached out for his face and gently turned it to face her.

"Why, Harm?" she asked again.

"Flying always was my biggest dream. Day in, day out, I wished that one day I could go back to a carrier and take off in a Tomcat. It was not that I didn't love my work at JAG, but flying still was a big part of my life. The last couple of years it changed though, I had almost forgotten how big a dream it once was. When I found out I was misdiagnosed, it suddenly came all back to me. Now I really had a chance to go back to flying, just that it didn't seem to be my biggest love anymore. Now it is..."

"... being a lawyer." Mac sadly finished the sentence for him.

She knew how much he put into his work, how much he loved being a lawyer. How could she possibly think that there was any other reason for his fear?

"No, Mac, it is not being a lawyer. It's you, Sarah. Going back to flying is one thing I really have to do though, for me. I knew you'd be telling me to follow my dreams, but I wasn't sure if I really had the strength to leave you behind. I was pushing this aside as long as I could, but in my heart, I knew that no matter when I would tell you, I would hurt you."

"Yeah, that you did. But for some odd reason, I can understand you, can understand how you feel. Flying is your life."

"No, I've just been trying to tell you that it is not. You are my life, Sarah Mackenzie, you alone. Flying is not that important to me anymore. All that matters to me is you."

Harm placed his hand on her cheek and gently wiped the tears away that were forming in her eyes. 

"Then why do you leave me behind?"

"I owe this to myself. Flying was taken away from me so abruptly. I need to put an end to it so I am ready to let go."

"You promised me to write and call, I hope you keep to it, squid."

Harm returned the smile Mac was giving him. He knew Mac understood him, better than anyone else. His hands cupped her face and pulled it close to his.

"I love you, Sarah Mackenzie, I hope you will never forget that. I've been in love with you from the moment we met in the rose garden. I will come back to you, I promise."

With that, he lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. 

0550 ZULU
Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Washington DC


Harm sat at the edge of his bed, lost in his thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" Mac asked as she crawled down the bed behind him. She placed her chin on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"That I only have five hours left with you before I have to leave."

"5 hours, 10 minutes, and 35 seconds."

Harm had to chuckle, "I still don't know how you do that."

"You'll probably never know. Why don't we just make the best of it of the time we have left? I never heard you play that for me."

Mac indicated the guitar case that was sitting in the corner of the
room, ready for the trip to Pensacola.

Harm turned his head around to face her, "You want me to?"

Mac nodded with a smile. Harm quickly got up and returned to the bed a moment later with his guitar in his hands. 

"Any requests?" he asked and sat down next to Mac.

"No, just play for me."

Mac laid her head down on his shoulder and Harm began to play the strings.

"If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever." he began to sing softly to the sounds of his guitar. "I ask the sky just what we had, mmmh, it shone forever. If the song I sing to you could fill your heart with joy, I'd sing forever. Forever. Forever, I've been so happy loving you."

Harm shortly turned his gaze to Mac only to see that she was smiling while tears began to form in her eyes. 

"Let the love I have for you live in your heart and beat forever. Forever Forever, I've been so happy loving you. So I'm goin' away, mmmh, but not forever. I gotta love you anyway. Forever."

"Will you love me forever, Harm?" Mac asked after he had finished the song.

"I just told you so. The question is, will you love me forever?"

"Yes, I will love you forever and all time."