Disclaimer: The characters of JAG don't belong to me. I just borrowed them from Bellisarius Productions, Paramount and CBS for this story. No infringement intended.

A Long Journey Home II
Crossroads

1523 ZULU
Saturday, March 24th
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA

From upstairs through the window, Mac had already seen the car pulling into the driveway, and on her way downstairs, the ringing doorbell officially announced the arrival of their guests for the weekend. She hurried to the front door, and with a swift move, pulled the door open.

"Harriet, it's so good to see you," Mac greeted the woman standing opposite her with a hug. "C'mon in."

"How are you holding up, Mac?" Harriet asked as she stepped into the house.

"I am okay. I am just worried about Harm. He barely speaks to anyone."

"Mac!" a small voice suddenly called, and a boy came running up the stairs and into the house and attached himself to Mac's legs.

"Hey munchkin," Mac smiled as she bent down to ruffle AJ Roberts' hair.

"Take me!" he demanded as he lifted his arms into the air.

Mac shortly nodded her head, then lifted AJ up on her hip.

"Mac, you really shouldn't take him." Harriet warned her when Bud walked into the house, balancing Christina on one arm, and carrying a bag and a suitcase with the other.

"It's okay, Harriet. A little cuddling for my godson won't harm anybody, am I right, AJ?"

The little boy nodded eagerly and he placed his head on Mac's shoulder after he had placed a big sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Let me show you around the house. The guestroom is upstairs and the bed should be big enough for the four of you."

Harriet quickly took her daughter from her husband's arm before she followed Mac upstairs. AJ was his babbling self, commenting on all the photos that were lined up along the staircase and breaking out in giggles and laughter now and then. Suddenly, full fledge laughter sounded through the house, and the little boy pointed at one of the pictures.

"Funny baby!" he laughed.

"You think that baby is funny?" Mac chuckled, "Wanna know who that baby is?"

"Uh huh, tell tell."

"That's a little boy called AJ Roberts Harm is carrying."

AJ's eyes grew wide and he started to object loudly, "AJ is a boy. Boys don't wear dresses! No no no, no dresses! AJ don't wear dresses! Chrissy wear dresses, she is a girl. AJ don't!"

"That was at your christening, honey," Harriet said as she reached the top of the stairs as well. "I didn't even know Harm sent pictures of the kids to his grandmother."

"Neither did I until I saw them around here."

They finally reached the second floor, and Mac quickly showed them around. AJ and Christina immediately claimed onto the bed in the guestroom, jumping up and down on the bouncy mattress while Bud dropped the bag and suitcase on the wooden floor with a loud bang.

"Where is everyone else? I haven't seen Harm yet." he asked as he crossed the short distance towards the bed to catch his daughter who was close to falling off the bed.

"Trish and Frank went into town for some last minute arrangements for the funeral, I think it was something about the flowers, and I honestly have no clue where Harm is. He was gone before I woke up this morning, and I think he didn't even come back to bed last night."

"That bad?" Harriet asked.

"He doesn't eat, he doesn't talk, he doesn't do anything at all. He just vanishes and no one knows were he is. Then all of a sudden, he'll be standing right in front of you with a look on his face that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. He really does scare me. I've never seen him like that before."

"He just takes time to come to terms with what has happened, Mac."

"Do you know how tiring it is to hear that day in, day out? I know he needs time, but why does he have to shut me out? I can't stand by and not be able to do anything, I never could and he knows that. It makes me go crazy sooner or later."

"Mommy, needa go potty," AJ suddenly interrupted the adults and climbed down from the bed. trembling impatiently.

"C'mon, daddy will take you," Bud said as he extended his hand which AJ took immediately. "Christina, let daddy check your diaper as well, sweetie."

A moment later, Bud and the kids had left the guestroom to go to the bathroom, and Harriet and Mac were alone in the guestroom to talk.

"I know you are feeling left out, Mac," Harriet started as she sat down on the bed next to Mac, "but this is Harm's way to deal with this. Don't blame him for that."

"I am not blaming him for the way he grieves, how could I? I just wish he would talk to me. I know it would make things a lot easier for him, would make him feel better. And it would make me feel better as well."

"The last thing you'll probably want to hear from me is that he takes time and that at one point, he will realize that trying to deal with this on his own is the wrong thing to do. Maybe you just need to be a little more persistent."

"Believe me, Trish and I tried everything there is. He won't respond to us. And if he does, we get into an argument, and that's something I can't and don't want to handle right now."

"Maybe I know what he needs."

"And what is that?"

Harriet turned over to her friend, a light smile on her face, "Someone to listen."

"Yeah right," Mac let out a sarcastic chuckle ,"as if it's that easy. How can you listen if he doesn't even talk to you?"

"I am pretty sure he will talk to the person I have in mind."

"And who may that be?"

"Christina."

"Christina?" Mac asked astonished. "Why Christina?"

"She will listen and he doesn't have to fear getting any answers from her he doesn't want to hear. I guess that's what he needs right know. Just someone to listen. Maybe that's all he is doing when he is gone, talking."

They both looked up when they heard footsteps outside, expecting Bud to return from the bathroom with the kids, but all they saw was a shadow quickly scurrying past the door to the room on the other side of the hallway.

"Harm?" Mac called, but all she heard in response was a door slamming into its angles.

"See, that's what I mean!" Mac exclaimed and pointed towards the door. "All I get is slamming doors and mumbled words no one other than himself can understand. I am getting so tired of that."

"Let's wait until Bud is back with the kids and we'll hand Christina over to him."

"How can you be so sure it will help him to talk to Christina?"

Harriet let out a sigh, "That's what I do when I have something on my mind that I think I can't talk to Bud about. I talk to the kids about it. They listen, and then I realize that Bud is just as good a listener as they are."

"So what do you have in mind, lock Harm into the room with Christina?"

"If we have to, why not?"

1556 ZULU
Saturday, March 24th
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA

His head resting in his hands, Harm sat on the bed in his old room. The world around him had ceased to exist the day his grandmother had died. All that there was at that very moment was Harmon Rabb JR - a man completely lost.

His head shot up when he heard cracks from the door being opened, and little Christina was gently shoved into the room. Then the door closed again - and the lock was being turned from the outside.

The little girl squealed with delight when she saw Harm. Her arms flew high into the air as she started to run across the room and flunged herself at his legs. A broad smile crossed her face when she looked up at him. Tiny little hands patted his thighs, telling him to lift her up and place her on his lap - but he didn't.

Christina started to get impatient when he didn't comply with her wishes, trembling restlessly, but still, she didn't get even a tiny little bit of his attention. All he did was stare off in the distance and ignore her.

Finally, the toddler began to whine, and when he was still ignoring her, she started to cry which soon turned into loud wailing when her requests were being left unfilled. Her arms were now raised high, flailing in the air.

"PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!" suddenly sounded through the room in a wail, and Harm's head shot into his goddaughter's direction. Did she just say please? Up to that point, no one had ever heard the little girl say a single word.

"Pweeeeeeze, pweeeeeeze, pweeeeeze!" she cried, her arms reaching out for Harm once again.

And finally, he moved towards her, and his arms picked her up from the ground, drawing the sobbing child close to his chest.

"Shhhhhh," he tried to soothe her as he rocked her gently back and forth, and the little girl quieted immediately.

Blue eyes sparkled up at him, and a single hiccup escaped her lips. A moment later, it was forgotten that Harm had showed no intention of picking her up at first, and he was rewarded with a big smile and a sloppy kiss on his check. At first, she giggled at the tickles his unshaved face produced, then she snuggled close to his chest, and her thumb made its way into her mouth shortly after.

"Chrissy, don't," he admonished her and reached for her hand to pull the thumb out of her mouth.

She looked up at him with a look on her face that asked 'why', but then decided to let go off it and climbed up to stand on Harm's thighs. Her face was on the same level as his now, the sparkle of her tiny blue eyes reflecting in his.

Her hands reached out to pat his cheeks, but Harm caught them in time to stop her. Her forehead turned into a frown, but it didn't take her long to find a new game to play. She wrapped her arms his neck and started to bounce on his thighs.

Squeals of delight filled the room, and it took Harm all his strength to pry her arms from his neck and stop her from bouncing.

"Stop it, Christina!" he scolded at her.

Lifting her on her arm, he got up from the bed and crossed the distance towards the door.

"Go back to mommy and daddy, peanut. Uncle Harm doesn't want to play now, he rather wants to be alone."

His hand reached for the doorknob, and after turning it, he had to realize that they had locked him in - together with a little nuisance called Christina.

"Freaking great!" he screamed and smashed his fist against the door. "Why can't you just understand that I want to be alone?"

"No no no no no!" Christina squealed and quickly covered his mouth with her hands to silence him. "NO!"

"Peanut, I don't wanna play," he repeated and sat her down on the floor.

Christina just stood there, looking after him as he went back to the bed and flopped down on it, turning his back towards her. For a moment, she didn't know what to do, but after she had taken in the surroundings, she decided it was time to explore the room.

Not a minute later, she had climbed up onto a chair, and was dangerously dangling over the edge while trying to reach for a sparkling object on the shelf. Her hands moved across the rim of the board, and when she finally reached the object of her desire, she lost balance and fell.

Just in time before she hit the ground, two strong arms caught her. Shocked from the fall, she let go off the object she had grabbed from the shelf which now lay shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor. Christina started to sob immediately, so Harm gently tried to soothe her as he kneeled down to see what had caught the toddler's interest.

In front of his feet, shattered into a thousand pieces, lay a frame that bore two pictures. One was of his grandmother, holding a fussy little baby in her arms, and the second was a sonogram picture someone had pinned on the front of the frame. Carefully, Harm picked up the photos, then returned to the bed and sat down.

Christina slowly calmed down from the shock, and finally turned to sit on his lap and look at the pictures in Harm's hands.

"Baby," she said and pointed at the picture of Harm's grandmother holding a baby.

"Yeah, that's a baby. That's Uncle Harm when he was a little baby. And that... that is..." Harm stopped for a moment when his voice started to crack, "that is my grandma."

"Nanna."

"Yeah, my grandma."

While Harm was still looking at that picture, Christina had already lost interested in it and wildly pointed at the other picture, wanting to know what it was.

"That's a picture of the baby your Auntie Sarah is going to have soon, see?"

Harm turned the sonogram picture around, then started to point out different body parts on the picture so Christina could see the baby, but all she did was frown at him.

"Can you keep a secret, Chrissy?" Harm asked as he drew her closer to him and gently rocked her back and forth in his arms. "Auntie Sarah is going to have a little baby boy. We're going to call him Jonathan Harmon Rabb. Do you like that name?"

Christina just giggled at him.

"I take that as a yes. Do you want to know who suggested the name?" Harm didn't wait for any kind of reaction from Christina before he continued, "My grandma did. She was a great lady. Do you know why? Because she could listen to you, and without even saying a word, she made you feel better. All she had to do was smile at you and everything bad in the world seemed to vanish. She had a solution for everything."

Harm went on telling Christina stories about his grandmother, and Christina patiently listened to everything he had to tell. He was so engrossed in his story telling that he didn't hear the door being unlocked and opened.

For quite some time Mac stood in the doorway and watched them. Christina had drifted off to sleep some time earlier, but Harm didn't care. In his arms, he held her close to his chest as he talked and talked - and finally noticed Mac in the doorway.

"She has fallen asleep," he said as he got up from the bed and gently shifted the toddler to lay her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you guys missed lunch," Mac started carefully since she hadn't expected Harm to talk to her at all, but apparently, Harriet's idea to lock him in the room with Christina had done some good after all.

"It's her nap time by now, so let me put her down in the guestroom."

She reached out to take Christina from him, but the girl wriggled out of her grip and with a loud, energetic 'NO' snuggled back into Harm's arm. Astonished, Mac raised her eyebrows and looked at Harm surprised.

"Yeah, she can talk. Guess up to now she just didn't think it was necessary to do so."

Mac smiled at him warmly, "Why don't you go to the guestroom then and put her down?"

"I think she likes it better here in my arms."

"Harm?" Mac asked after they'd been standing in the middle in the room, just looking at Harm with the sleeping toddler on his arm.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled in response.

"You really need to get a shave."

A weak smile broke out on Harm's face. His hand reached for Mac to pull her close and into a kiss.

"Yeah, definitely. You're really itchy, Sailor," Mac said with a hint of laughter in her voice after they'd broken the kiss.

"Later. I don't want to wake up Chrissy."

"Do you want to join us downstairs?" Mac asked and immediately saw the hesitation in Harm's face. "You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. It would just be nice if you were there. Please?"

"I don't know if it would be such a good idea, Mac."

"Please? Just be there - for me."

"I wouldn't feel very well being downstairs with Bud and Harriet."

"Then I'll stay up here with you."

"And what about Bud and Harriet?"

"Your mom and Frank should be back soon. Besides, they can take care of themselves for some time." she reasoned, letting him know that this time she wouldn't let go off it that easy.

"I guess I won't have a chance here, will I?"

"No, not anymore."

Soft snorring sounded from the bedroom as little Christina Roberts lay peacefully sleeping on Harm's chest. Her left hand was tightly holding on to the sleeve of his shirt while her tiny right one was fully hidden in Harm's big one. His thumb caressed the back of the tiny hand, and he just lay there, watching her sleep quietly for the last 15 minutes.

Mac lay next to him, her head resting against his shoulder. Her eyes were focused on the sleeping baby girl, and she occassionally brushed a lose strand of blonde hair out of her angelic little face.

"She's so peaceful when she's asleep," she whispered as to not wake her up.

"And some times a real nuisance when she is awake," Harm replied.

"Maybe I have to be a nuisance as well so you will talk to me? It apparently worked for her."

"You already were a nuisance, Mac."

"Oh really? But apparently not good enough to get you talking. Why can't you talk to me?"

"It's not that I can't talk to you," Harm sighed, "I just don't want to dump anymore stuff on you."

"I am not fragile, Harm. I won't break."

"Maybe I've been reading a tad bit too much in those pregnancy books. They all say stress is bad for mother and baby, take it easy on them, blablabla."

Mac chuckled lightly, "Yeah, maybe you've really been reading a little bit too much in those books. Screw them if they stop you from talking to me. That just makes me worry about you a lot more."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Whatever you want to tell me. I don't care what. Nonsense, garbage, just talk to me."

"I think I am going to take off work next week," Harm blurted out, and continued his sentence quickly before Mac could ask why, "We have to be out of my appartment by the end of the month, that's less than a week and there still is so much work to do in the house as well as in my appartment. We haven't really packed any boxes yet."

"Yeah, I thought about that too. Gunny doesn't mind if it's taking us a week longer, he understands. He already offered us 2 more weeks last week when he found out that I had the Maxwell Murder Trial coming up."

"Oh, you didn't tell me that," he replied, "But still, I wouldn't feel very good imposing on him like that. I know he's dying to get out of that house so I really should get some work done on our new place next week."

"That's absolutely fine with me."

Mac turned on her side to snuggle closer to Harm when suddenly the little human being growing inside let her know with force that he definitely didn't like the new position she had chosen. Her hand went to her belly immediately, rubbing the spot where the baby had just kicked her.

"Take it easy in there, Junior," she gasped as he kicked her again with full force. "Honey, mommy doesn't like it when you kick her like that."

"Junior misbehaving?" Harm asked and placed his hand on Mac's stomach to feel his son moving around.

His hand gently moved around in circles, trying to soothe the baby, but when he felt another light kick he knew he wasn't very successful. Mac twitched her face slightly, and finally gave in, rolling back over into her previous position.

"He's been a little rough on me for the last few days. Seems almost like he is on an ego trip letting mommy know with all force if there is anything he doesn't like."

"I guess he's sensing that something is wrong."

"I really have no clue how I am going to survive this until July."

"Maybe we should start with those lamaze classes a couple weeks earlier than we thought. I read they teach techniques that will help calm down fussy babies."

"Harm, those are meant to be for after the baby is born," Mac chuckled delightfully at his enthusiasm.

"Well, maybe if we modify them a little, he will calm down?"

"He's stubborn like his father, he always has to have his will. I never succeeded changing that in you, how could I possibly change that in your son?" Mac stated when she saw that Christina had crooked an eye open and was looking at her.

"Hey peanut, naptime over?"

The toddler rubbed her eyes lazily, shortly nodded at Mac and then put her thumb into her mouth. When she realized the look Mac gave her after doing that, she opened her mouth again and slowly pulled her thumb out.

"That's a nice girl. Now let's get you down to mommy. I am sure she's already missing her little angel."

Mac sat up and reached for the toddler, but the girl refused to let go off Harm, letting them know she wanted Harm to take her. Her arms flew around his neck, tighening, almost suffocating him.

"Okay, Okay, we got the hint," Harm muttered as he pried Christina's arms away. "I can't breath when you're holding on to me that tight, peanut."

He sat up and pulled the girl into his lap when there was a knock on the door. Christina immediately turned her attention towards the door, her mouth formed into an 'ooh' while Mac got up to open the door.

"I am sorry, I hope I am not interupting anything?" Trish asked as Mac showed her inside the room.

"No, not at all. Harm just wanted to take Christina down to Bud and Harriet," Mac replied as she closed the door behind Trish.

"Oh, they left for a walk about half an hour ago. I was just checking on little AJ next door, when I heard noises in here."

"We were taking a little nap," Harm uttered and got up from the bed, shifting Christina on his arm. "Is everything confirmed in town for the funeral?"

At first, Trish was a little irritated by that question, especially since it came from Harm, but then she nodded, "We finally got the flower arrangments done. We picked daisies."

"Grandma's favorite flowers."

"We figured she'd like that. We almost had to drive to Pittsburg to order them though. They'll be delivering the arrangements tomorrow morning between 8:30 and 9:00. Also, the minister will come around 4 this afternoon to speak to you."

"Mom, I don't need that."

"I told him you most probably didn't want to talk to him, but he insisted. It's not gonna take long. I guess he just wants to hear your view of Sarah for his funeral speech"

Harm sighed, "Fine."

"Okay, everything else is taken care of."

"Good, good."

"Ah, I think I'll go back downstairs and see if Frank is still torturing those poor planks on the back porch."

Trish turned towards the door, but then decided differently and went back to her son, enveloping him in a hug. Pulling back, she shortly smiled at her son, patted his cheek softly and then left the room.

2252 ZULU
Saturday, March 24th
Rabb Residence
Beallsville, PA

The minister had left already when Harm still sat upstairs in his grandmother's room where they had retreated to not be disturbed during their conversation. The first few minutes, Harm hadn't really listened to anything the minister was talking about, but after a while, he found it somewhat comforting to talk and listen to a person strange to him. They had talked about everything and nothing in particular, the minister listed to everything Harm had to tell him.

At first, he had asked him to talk about his fondest childhood memory. Oh, that had been easy, a trip to the USS Hornet with his father when he had been 5. When he sat there in the fighter plane, it was pretty clear to him what he wanted to become when he was grown up, a pilot. And not even his father's MIA status could change that over the years.

Reflecting over his childhood years, Harm realized that he indeed had been different than any other kids. Sure, he had known kids with only a mom or a dad, but his childhood had been very different to theirs. At least they were sure where their mom or dad were, maybe somewhere in Mexico or wherever trying to find the meaning of life or, as sadly as it may sound, dead, but at least they knew for sure. They didn't have to lie awake each night, praying that their father would come back one day, that he was still alive, and that wherever he was, he was taken care of.

All he knew was that his father had gone down over Vietman in his plane on Christmas Eve. He remembered that morning very well. He was so overjoyed, curious about all the pretty presents he was going to get, especially what his father had sent him from overseas along with the name tapes they were expecting, but all he found in the living room was his mother sitting on the sofa desperately crying. He remembered well how his grandma had tried to usher him out of the room so he wouldn't see his mother break down, but he would never forget that tearstriken face.

Others were brought home in caskets, but there was nothing to be brought home of his father. His status was MIA - missing in action. He could have been dead, his remains lying somewhere off limits for US search troops to be found. He could have been a prisoner of war, held imprissoned by the Vietnamese in an inhuman manner. All that MIA said was that noone knew for sure what had happened to him after his plane had gone down. It was the not knowing for sure that was so difficult.

Maybe it would have been better he had died right there in the jungle. It would have saved him, his mother and most of all his grandmother a lot of sleepless nights. First she had lost her husband flying over Germany in the First World War, then her son was shot down over Vietnam. Often he had heard her talking to his mother about this, that the not knowing was worse than knowing for sure he was dead.

Now looking back at his childhood and realizing how much the search for his father had guided his life, he was pretty sure that if he had died in Vietnam on Christmas Eve in 1969, his life would have been different, and at that point, he was sure it would have been better, a lot better - but then he began to think what could be different now.

His search for his father would have never brought him to Vietnam. And resenting most what had cost his father his life, he probably would have never decided to join the Navy and become a fighter pilot, the last connection he had to his father, join the Navy, be a pilot and follow in his footsteps. Be part of the Navy to be close to him, and most of all, now being at the source of all evil, find out what the Navy knew about his father or any other MIAs in Vietnam and was not willing to tell, all that never would have happened.

Then came the plane crash. Of course, his RIO wouldn't have lost his life if he had never joined the Navy, but he would also have never joined JAG, and most of all, he would have never met Mac. He would never have spent that half year after his crash at his grandmother's place and had restored Sarah, which had been the main reason he had decided to join JAG. He wanted to stay close to his grandmother, and close to Sarah. Maybe because in Sarah he still had a connection to his father, or maybe it was because he still resented his mother's 2nd husband, he couldn't remember.

Though his childhood hadn't been the easiest and the direct results of it being a mere disaster, he wouldn't want to change it in any way. There was his grandmother, and he had done her best to teach him how to live with the pain and the not knowing ofwhat had become of his father. There was the Naval Academy and his friends. And most of all there was a JAG. JAG, a place where he had found his new family, where he had found Mac.

30 minutes had turned into an hour, and then in almost 2, and all the minister had done was listen to whatever Harmon Rabb had had to say. He was sure he had taken a lot of the burdens he was carrying off of his shoulders by just listening, something he was sure he hadn't done in a long time to either family or friends. He was relieved to see that Harm looked more relaxed, and before he left, he handed him an envelope.

Now Harm sat there in the room, the envelope in his hands. He wasn't sure whether to open it or not, but after 5 minutes of just turning it over and over, he finally ripped it open and pulled out a picture. It was a picture of his grandmother. He had no idea where the minister had gotten this from, but he figured it probably was taken at one of the many charity events at the chruch his grandmother usually attended.

For a while, he just looked at the picture, then realized there was something written on the back. He turned it around and read the words while the tears slowly began to trickle down his cheecks.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee
~ William Shakespeare

" The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen."

The priest looked up from his bible and closed it. His glance wandered over the people present at this funeral, especially the mourning family who stood in the first row. The grandson and his fiance, the former daughter-in-law and her husband. Those 4 people were all family Sarah Rabb had left.

In the years he'd been priest in Beallsville, he had grown to know Sarah Rabb as a woman dedicated to her family and friends. But in all those years, he also had never had the pleasure before to meet her family, not the grandson, nor the daughter-in-law. It had to be the old lady's funeral that finally introduced him to all those who were left of the Rabb family.

Harmon Rabb JR, the grandson he had heard so much about. Former Navy pilot, now JAG lawyer. Spitting image of his father. Not that he had ever had the chance to meet either father or son before, but Sarah Rabb hadn't spared him pictures and stories about those 2 men which obviously had meant a great deal to her.

She had been such a lovely lady, he couldn't understand why her grandson's visits had been so rare over the years, especially as he had gathered that his grandmother had also meant a great deal to Harmon Rabb JR. He could have understood if he had lived in California like his mother did, but he was only a couple hours south in Washington DC.

The priest blinked his eyes when the family moved forward to each lay a single daisy on the chestnut brown casket. Sarah Rabb had loved daisies, he knew that. Her garden always had been full of them. This year, they sadly wouldn't bloom in her garden anymore, but on her grave.

He watched attentively when the brunette woman standing on Harom Rabb JR's left side reached her arm around his waste for comfort. Sarah Mackenzie, his fiance. Well, not really as he had learned from Sarah Rabb. 6 years ago he had heard the name Sarah Mackenzie for the first time. A new partner for Harmon Rabb, and according to his grandmother the woman destined to be his. How she had known that way before Harmon Rabb and Sarah Mackenzie knew themselves, he had no clue.

In some ways, she had been a very strange old lady. Every other women in her age he had expected to be bothered by the fact that her grandson was living together with a woman and showing no signs of getting married like the oldfashioned way had taught them - but Sarah Rabb, yes, she had been different in any way.

"I am happy if my grandson is happy" that was what she had told him. And how happy she had been. Just about 3 weeks ago the elderly lady had told him that her grandson was finally making her a great-grandmother. She was looking forward to this child, unfortunately she would never get a chance to see this so much wanted child. For though he was sure that this child had a special angel up in heaven now watching over him.

Him - that was what Sarah Rabb had told him, that it was going to be a boy. He didn't know how she could be so sure of this, she just said that a great-grandmother knew. Maybe it was some woman thing, he had heard such things before. Some women just knew. They could tell just from looking at a pregnant woman. And indeed, just the day before he had learned from Harmon Rabb himself that the Rabb's were expecting a little baby boy and of course, Sarah Rabb hadn't known that for sure until the day of her death.

Many faces he saw at the funeral that he knew from town, but many he didn't. He figured they didn't come because of Sarah Rabb - they came for her grandson. A couple with two little kids, a boy and a girl. Harmon Rabb JR and Sarah Mackenzie's godchildren as he had learned, the children's parents being their best friends. A middle aged bald man in a Navy uniform showing Admiral's insignia. Their commanding officer he figured. Two young men dressed in Petty Officer uniforms. One belonged to the couple with the kids, he had gathered that much. The other one he couldn't really place anywhere though he was sure he had to be the Admiral's right hand.

He crossed himself and folded his arms across his chest when the coffin was being lowered into the grave hole. For the first time, he realized the sniffling sounds from the attendants, and he was sure that even behind those black sunglasses he saw some men wearing, tears were trickling. Strange though he tought was the fact that Harmon Rabb was not crying. His blank eyes were not hidden behind glasses, he just kept staring into the distance.

But he was sure that this man was crying about his grandmother in the inside, and maybe even on the outside when he felt it was appropriate to do so. To him, he seemed to be a man who didn't like to show his feelings all too well in public, but he knew that he wasn't a man without any feelings at all.

People from town departed quietly after the funeral was over. They would be gathered at Sarah Rabb's home shortly after for the wake. The priest gave his condolence to the family before he too left the graveside, giving the family some last minutes alone before they too had to leave and let the gravediggers do their work.

Harmon Rabb's friends and family stood a little aside when he approached the grave and knelt down. Mac stood behind him, her hand on his shoulder for comfort. His hand reached out to touch hers, and the tears started to fall freely when he began to cry.

A lot of people from town had come and gone, now only a dozen were still at the Rabb house. Some of the people still there were unknown to Harm, but still, they seemed to have known his grandmother rather well as he had constantly heard stories about her from each and every person that had crossed his path.

While she apparently had had a lot of friends in Beallsville, most of them had expressed their sympathies, some had attended the funeral, but only one had been kind enough to ask if there was anything she could help with. Sarah Rabb's neighbor Gladys had offered to help out with the wake, and Trish had gladly accepted.

Some soft music was playing in the background. Whoever had chosen that record had a lousy taste in music and probably hadn't heard that it was possible to change the music and not have it play over and over for hours. But actually, nobody seemed to care about that, otherwise the music probably had been changed already.

Whispered and muffled sounds filled the living room, no one dared to speak any louder though everyone was deeply engrossed in a conversation - except one person.

Harm stood a little aside alone, staring out the window. In the reflection on the window he could see that his mother was bringing another plate of canapés from the kitchen while Gladys was refilling glasses with water, wine or juice.

He sighed, for the first time content that he had his peace at least for a little while. For the last few hours everyone had expressed their sympathies, telling him their own little stories about Sarah Rabb and what a special lady she had been. As if he hadn't known that.

It hurt to listen to all those bits and pieces people had to tell about his grandmother. At one point, he had been this close to just walk away and leave, but for some reason unknown to him he didn't. He stayed, pretending to listen to what people had to tell him, nodding on and off without even paying attention to what was being said and from time to time smiling politely.

He counted the seconds until someone would walk up to him and express their sympathies again or start some kind of conversation. Shortly after 290 he had lost track when he got distracted by a fly which majorly annoyed him by constantly circling his head, so he began to count again.

At 130 he saw his mother returning to the kitchen with a canapé plate that was now empty, at 155 Christina started to wail for no obvious reason, shortly after followed by her older brother starting a tantrum as well when no one was giving him the attention he wanted, and at 232 two arms wrapped around his waist from behind which scared the hell out of him for a second.

"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you," Mac said when she felt him tense up against her body. "How are you doing?"

"I am okay as long as I don't have to hear anymore stories about how great a woman my grandma was."

"I know it's hard, but it's gonna be over soon. There aren't many people left here except our friends."

"It will never be over, Mac."

"I mean the wake, Harm. I know everything else takes a little longer," Mac tightened her arms around his waist and placed her head against his shoulder. "How about we try to losen the tight atmosphere a little and for once blurt out some good news."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Junior has been very restless the whole afternoon. I guess he wants to be officially introduced to everyone. C'mon."

She reached for his hand and dragged him behind her into the middle of the living room.

"Excuse me," she called and after only a couple of seconds had everyone's attention, "Harm and I have an annoucement to make."

"We do?" he asked her dumbfounded, not exactly knowing what she wanted to do. After all, everyone knew - and most of all everyone could see - that they were expecting a baby.

"Yes, we do. I think it would be nice to let our family and friends know something we found out last week."

Slowly, it started to dawn on Harm what Mac had in mind.

"Wait, wait, my mom's not here yet. She has to hear this as well."

As if she had heard her son, Trish walked into the living room, astonished that it was so quiet in there. But when she saw her son standing in the middle of the room, his arms protectively wrapped around Mac and his hands gently resting on her baby mound, she suspected what had to come. After all, Harriet had told her that they had found out about the sex of the baby the week before, but that Mac wasn't willing to tell until Harm knew.

"Harm and I found out about the sex of our baby last week," Mac said and then stopped, wanting Harm to finish this. She turned her head sideways to look at him, and he shortly nodded at her, letting her know he'd go on.

"My grandma called me a couple weeks ago," Harm began, "She asked me if we already found out about the sex of our baby and I told her that we didn't want to know until the baby was born. She kept insisting that she already knew the sex and I kept calling her crazy."

He paused, taking a deep breath. Mac squeezed his hand gently to encourage him to go on. She knew it was important that he said that now.

"I came here earlier this week when I learned that she was hospitalized. The night before she passed away, Mac told me she already knew the sex of our baby. When she told me, I was stunned because my grandma had been right all along. So we went to tell her the day after. 5 minutes after she knew, she passed away. I guess all she was hanging on to was us telling her that she was right, that she was going to have a great-grandson."

Harm chocked on his last words, and he had difficulties keeping the tears back. He pulled Mac closer to him, needed the comfort she offered more than anything else at that moment.

"She gave her great-grandson a name before she died," Mac went on when she felt Harm couldn't anymore. Placing her hands on her baby belly, she continued, "We'd like to introduce you to Jonathan Harmon Rabb."

0114 ZULU
Sunday, March 25th
Sarah Rabb's Home
Beallsville, PA

The guests were gone, and everthing was cleaned up when Mac went looking for Harm. The last time she had seen him, he had said his goodbyes to Bud and Harriet and the kids. Then she had gone to the kitchen to help Trish and Gladys with cleaning up, while Frank had taken his turn on cleaning the living room and Harm had vanished into nowhere.

After awhile, she saw him sitting outside on the backporch in the cold, only dressed in his black suit pants and the white shirt. She grabbed his suit jacket from the couch in the living room as well as a blanket, then opened the door to the backporch and stepped outside.

It was a lot chillier outside than she had suspected, it was almost freezing. Quickly, she hurried over to Harm and handed him his jacket, than sat down next to him and placed the blanket over both their bodies.

For quite some time they just sat there, staring up at the clear dark sky. Stars were sparkling above them, and a full moon was shining down on them. The lights behind them in the living room were being dimmed after awhile, and they still sat silently there outside in the chilly night, their hands intertwined under the warm, fluffy blanket.

It was close to 10pm when Harm let out a loud sigh and spoke up, "A wishing star. Make a wish."

There only came a mumbled reply from Mac who had almost fallen asleep with her head gently resting against his shoulder.

"Mac?" Harm asked, turning over to her and realizing that she was close to falling asleep. "Hey, why don't you go to bed?"

He brushed a strand of her chestnut brown hair out of her face and placed a gentle kiss on top of her head.

"Where's a wishing star?" Mac finally replied, sitting up straight.

"You missed it."

"I hope you made a wish for me too then."

"I did."

"And what did you wish for?"

"It's not going to become true if I tell you," Harm uttered and pulled Mac back into his arms.

She propped her legs up on the porch next to her and turned slightly to rest against his side, his arm protectively around her.

"Well, you said you made the wish for me too, so it would be nice to know what you wished for. Besides, since it's my wish as well, it should be okay for me to know. It's for those who made the wish to know and for those who didn't not to know. You included me, so I have a right to know, and we should be safe by sharing it."

"You're talking like a lawyer," he chuckled at her response.

"I am one, you know."

"Yeah, you are." There was a moment of silence before he went on as he placed his hands on Mac's stomach where his son was fully active, "I made a very humble wish."

"And that may be?"

"No more death in this family for at least the next 10 years, that's what I wished for."

"Oh, Harm."

She turned around and pulled him into a tight embrace, kissing him on the top of his head.

"You know while I was sitting here thinking, some thoughts came to mind. About you and me. About our life, the baby..."

"What about us?" Mac asked, a little bit of frighten in her voice. Whenever he started talking like that, some dangerous thoughts were on hand, some thoughts she was sure she wouldn't like.

"We wasted so much time already, I don't want to waste anymore. I realized that life can be over within a second."

"Where is this going, Harm?"

"I honestly don't know. I just feel like something has to change. Things are going too slow for me."

"Too slow? Do you want me to have this baby right now or what? I am sorry, but I can't quite follow your thoughts."

"I think neither can I. I just know that it took us years to become what we are now. I don't wanna sit here in another 5 years and think, damn, we've wasted so much time again. Time is precious. Can you understand that?"

"Yeah, I can," Mac sighed, "We can't plan time though, Harm. I know it took us a long time to get to this point, but think about what happened the last year only. We finally found our way together, we have a baby on the way, we're moving into our own house..."

"I know. I told you I can't follow my own thoughts either, what's new there?" Harm chuckled nervously, "It's just a feeling I can't put into words. I feel like time is running out on us and I don't know why."

"Time is not running out on us. We have all the time we need, and all the time we want."

"You can't know that."

"I can, because I am thinking positive. Right at this moment, I don't care if I have a year with you or 10, and I honestly don't wanna know. I have you with me right now, and that is all that matters to me. I am trying to make the best time out of it. Okay, right now, we've hit a few bumps on the road, but as long as you are with me I don't care because I love you. And you know what? No matter how much time we have together, there will always be something on this earth that will be a reminder of our time together, of our love. Our son will carry that on, Harm. And if you ask me again and again and again if we wasted any time, I am going to say no cause we did not. We developed something special between us, a bond that brought us closer than some people might think. I agree we had a few ups and downs on the way, but I don't wanna miss those. They made us who we are now. Who knows what would have happened with us if we had followed our primal instincts the first time we got so close. I am pretty sure we wouldn't be this far now. We needed that time."

"Maybe half that time we waited would have been enough as well?"

"Okay, spill it, Harmon Rabb. There's something else that is bothering you. And I wanna know what."

After a few seconds of silence, Harm finally gave in and started to talk, " That talk I had with the priest yesterday made me think about my dad and my grandpa."

"Oh no, not that again," Mac stopped him right there, knowing what was coming, "Harm, you know you are not your father or your grandfather."

"I just can't help thinking that way. My dad practically had no father, neither did I."

"I am not going to discuss this with you again."

Mac got up from the bench, wrapped the blanket around her cold body and stood there at the railing, her back turned to Harm.

"Sometimes I think you want it to end like that by bringing that subject up again and again," she spoke out into the dark night. "Our son is 5 years old, and poof, you are gone, leaving me alone with him."

"Do you think I want to do that?" Harm asked as he got up and walked up behind her. "Heaven no! I want to see him grow up. I want him to have little brothers and sisters. I want to be there for them forever."

"Then why are you always talking like that?"

"It's part of my past."

"Absolutely right." Mac turned around, looking him straight into the eyes. " It's part of your past, Harm. Not part of your present or your future. You need to get over this."

"I know I do, but I don't know how."

"Together we'll pull through this, okay?"

Harm nodded with a slight smile on his face before he gathered Mac into a tight embrass and kissed her. Above them in the clear dark night, a star began to sparkle brightly - someone was watching over them forever.