Where He Belongs PG-13
| Posted: August 22, 2007 |
| Don't hate me. I had to get this out once the scene hit me. Late season 4 so any ep is fair for spoilers. |
Her body seemed to weigh nothing in his arms. She was thin, thinner than he?d ever seen her before. And her pale gaunt face gave him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He could feel the hot anger surfacing as he carried her limp body into the quarters. He gently laid her down onto the bed and started to pull a blanket over her when she jerked herself up.
?It?s all right. Aeryn! It?s alright.? He grabbed her arms to keep her from falling off the bed and gently tried to pull her back down. His heart broke as he saw the fear in her eyes. Her beautiful blue-grey eyes that could stop him in his tracks when she looked at him. They were dull looking now. Her entire body screamed of whatever hell they had put her through.
?You?re here.? He added still trying to get her to lie back down. She stared at him wide eyed as he pulled the covers over her legs.
?Is this real?? Tears were now streaming down her face as she realized she was looking at the real John. Her John.
?It?s real. You?re on Moya. You?re safe.? He gave her a soft smile, trying to reassure her. Oh God, all he wanted to do was to pull her close to him and hold her. But he couldn?t.
?What about the baby?? She struggled to ask as her throat constricted from emotion.
?The baby?s fine. Everything?s gonna be okay.? He knew it?s what she needed to hear. He had no idea if the baby was okay. It was a question in his mind as well, but he needed her to rest now. They would answer that question later.
?Sleep.? He whispered to her. Her head slowly lowered back down, but her eyes never left him. She had woken up many times to find him next to her, but this was real. He touched her forehead lightly. She could feel him. He was real and she could feel him.
?Stay.? She breathed as he moved to leave her to rest. She didn?t want to be alone. She didn?t want him to leave her. She needed him there beside her. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead he lowered himself to the floor. She reacheed out with her hand needing to feel him again. She touched his cheek as he turned and softly kissed her palm. He looked at her with those soft blue eyes. They made her feel safe. He made her feel safe. Her eyes closed as he laid her arm down on the bed and let his hand slide down it. He slipped his hand into hers. She was home. She was home and she was safe. That?s all he needed for the moment. Just to be there with his hand in hers knowing she was safe.
He didn?t know when he had fallen asleep. He only remembered jerking awake to find himself still on the floor. His eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room until he could see her outline clearly. She hadn?t moved. Her body still lay in the position it had been in when he set her down. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as a slow realization hit him. His hand was cold. No, not his hand, her hand. Her hand was cold. Reality suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt his own heart pounding as he struggled to make himself breathe. It had been a dream. He hadn?t saved her. He hadn?t brought her home safely. Tears spilled down his cheeks as his thoughts came together. His mind had played with him. It had created a lie that he had almost believed. For a split second after he woke up he didn?t remember she was gone. He had truly thought she was okay. It was almost like losing her all over again. He slid his hand out of hers and closed his eyes trying to recreate the dream in his mind. It wasn?t real.
?It wasn?t real!? He screamed out loud. Aeryn was dead. She had been dead awhile before he found her. He couldn?t have done anything. He put his hands over his face trying to erase the picture of her white lifeless expression. He had carried her in here. He remembered D?argo trying to get him to leave her, but he didn?t want to leave her alone. This is where he belonged, beside her. He slipped his hand back into hers. This had always been where he belonged.